Dear 'F' Word...

My dearest F word,

I miss you.

Do you miss me?

I knew that we would probably grow apart with the birth of my son, but I had no idea how much I would miss you. I miss the good times we had together.

Remember when I could make a complete sentence using just you?

You played the parts of pronoun, noun, verb and adjective so well. You made me feel so much better when I accidentally stubbed a toe or burned myself cooking. You always comforted me when no other word could.

Oh, and do you remember how much better you would make me feel when I would get off the phone with my mom?  Nothing brought me more relief than you.  Oh my darling F-Word, I miss you so.





I miss the good ol' days of F' You's, F' Me's,  just plain F's and of course the you gotta be F'ing kidding me's!

I just don't get it.  It's like one day you left my mouth and fudge came in and took your place. Sometimes I try so hard to say your name but instead frig or fudge comes out. Sometimes, as you know,  when I get mad enough that I do yell your name no sound comes out. It's so weird! It's like I have swallowed some awful self censorship pill.

I also want you to know that I am so sorry you have gotten such a bad wrap as a word. It is hard to understand how you have been banned from social settings when it is clear that you bring so much emotional relief in times of annoyance, pain, frustration and passion. I know it goes without saying that you are by far my favorite word, and will be missed dearly over the next couple of decades while I try to be a good mother and role model.



Until we can openly be together again, remember that I love you and will never be able to fully stop yelling your name in moments of frustration, pain and passion.  (Even if sound does not come out, I will still feel your healing properties in my heart.)


Love always,

April


P.s. If you see the S' word please let him know shucks is not a suitable substitute for him and one day we will be back together too.


For fucks sake, please click on the fucking image below to throw a fucking vote our way.
Have a great fucking Friday! 


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

25 comments:

Jessika Kazaros said...

Oh April, how I fucking love you guys :)

Alissa said...

hahahahaha!!! Love this.

Madison D'Amario said...

This is awesome! Just discovered your blog- love it!!!

madison & ryan
http://foreverroomies.blogspot.com

Kristy J said...

Oh April, how you've fucking my made day again. And trust me I already fucking threw a fucking vote your way. :-)

Paula Schuck said...

Oh you will be reunited! Don't worry. It will creep back in like mildew in the bathtub one day when your beautiful child is like eight and they do something so epic awesome and a different child says something mean to him. Or when a car cuts you off and your child is eleven sitting in the back seat of the car. And you forget yourself. F. Is always there waiting. This I know to be true. In fact I wrote a post about it once.

AussieMummy said...

Bad mummy confession.. The F word and I are still firm friends. I know it's wrong, I know my son my understand what I'm saying soon. I'm trying to break up with the F word but after years of true love, it's so hard to just walk away completely.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Awww you know we fucking love you too. xx

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

LOL. I had a feeling you would agree. ;)

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Thank Madison! I'll have to go check yours out.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Oh Kristy, Your comments make my fucking day! And thanks for the fucking vote, there is no way I could be where I am at without your support! xx

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Hi Paula! I can hear myself now calling the kid who says something mean to Ollie... "Piss off fucker." Thanks for the comment, I needed to hear there is hope, and I will not be alone when I drop the f' bombs.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

My dearest Aussie Mummy, you see... It's an Aussie thing. FTD has no intention of giving up his f bombs. He tries, but we both know he is just too in love as well. Plus, Aussies are so wonderfully laid back and so are their kids. At the Vic market it's no thing to hear f bombs dropping all over the place and the kids completely indifferent to it, however, in America if that happens the crazy thumpers start calling CPS.

Shay Grant said...

I can so relate! F'bomb has now become 'effing' (I prefer your 'fudge' way more, I shall have to borrow it), the S word is now shishkebab :-( there's no room for D (dagnammit now), BS (push it over) and as for C, forget about it! (cumberbund)

We were all so close, it's sad to lose relationships with old friends when you become a mama :-(

Chandelle Foote said...

ha ha This is a great reminder of the many phrases that I never though about before that will need to be eliminated/reduced from my vocabulary once our little guy gets here!

Also, just wanted to let you know that I've nominated you for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Woot Woot! Check it out:
http://www.mommyinthemakingmn.com/2013/04/a-very-inspiring-blogger-award.html

Hena Tayeb said...

ha! I can so relate.. I also miss being able to watch whatever I wanted whenever.. waiting till bedtime sometimes takes so long I'm sleepy by then.

Jae Mac said...

Oh I see how this fucking works, you can't fucking say it, but you can fucking type it! Just kidding LOL. I'm just f'ing with you. I know how you feel. Just remember if you want to sing out, sing out :P
Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

I love it! Cumberbund. I am going to get FTD on that.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

YAY! Thank you so much! Me? Very Inspiring? Thank you so much.

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

OH yes... I have that battle with FTD, he wants to watch his DVR Game of Thrones at breakfast!

FirstTimeMomandDad.com said...

Yeah, writing it is ok... but I still feel a little guilty.

Terrye Toombs said...

lol! I refuse to change who I am for my kids, dammit! I gotta be me!

Rhonda said...

But you didn't mention my favorite-fuck face. As in, "Facebook, stop telling my Douche bag is spelled wrong. You're being such a fuck face!" Yes, that is what I said two nights ago. Slipped out, but it was "after hours" so no kids were around to hear.

Roshni AaMom said...

I have tears in my eyes now because you reminded me of my own past relationships with F, S and H! Wow! I have slept around quite a bit! :P
Hey, this is cool that I found out this post from Molley's hump day linkup!

Molley Mills said...

just as fucking funny as the first fucking time I read it.. I shit you not, Hooker!
Fuck that felt good....

Tracy Winslow said...

I cannot break up with the eff bomb. I know it's not right for me. That its standards are sub par and may be leading me down a bad path. But, "fiddle-dee-dee" just doesn't suit me. So fuckin' A right. I hear ya April!

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