The Elf on the Shelf...




I love Christmas. I love Santa too. I don't remember when I found out about Santa not being all I thought he was (real), but clearly it wasn't earth shattering... or maybe it was and I have blacked it out... regardless...  I love Christmas with or without Santa.  Will I tell my son Santa is the real deal?  Hell Yes!  No way am I going to be that parent.  You know, the parent who is responsible for the cynical child that tells every kid in the sandbox that Santa is not real... Is there even that parent out there? 

Anyways... Santa...load of wank. Lie. Do we as parents have a moral code to lie to our kids about Santa?  Yep.  Thank you Coca-cola. Thank you for turning St. Nick, the man who would leave a coin in your shoe, into a big fat dude with some flying reindeer that turns up with gifts for good little boys and girls. Two points Coca-cola... Thanks for giving me a bargaining chip to use with children to get them to behave.  

I learned last year that somewhere along the way children stopped worrying about pissing off Santa. So much so, an elf has been sent to sort the naughty little shits out... enter the Elf on the Shelf.  a.k.a Christmas load of wank #2. 





This little elf has a whole back story (load of wank) you tell your child.  Santa has sent him to spy on the family and returns to the North Pole every night to give a daily report on who has been naughty or nice. And then returns to your home the next morning to spy some more. Basically, if that elf turns up in your house, your ass better behave or no gifts for you!

Last year the "Elf on the Shelf" made his way into my sister's home. Instantly my two nephews, 4 and 5 at the time, totally bought into him...

The first couple of days the boys were little angles, which is a FAR cry from the norm! They were tip-toeing around that elf like Santa was really going to find out everything they did. Then the novelty wore off...  By the 49th hour the little heathens were back to trying to kill each other and everything breakable in the house. My sister had to repeatedly remind them that the elf was going to tell Santa about their bad behavior. Once she would remind them the elf was watching, they would take it down a few notches.  The Elf was really working!

My sister would move the elf periodically so the boys thought he was alive, and really keeping his eye on them.  In fact every morning the boys wake up to find the elf peering over their window valance.  Then throughout the day the elf moved. The boys had the best time looking for him. Christmas morning when they found all of their gifts under the tree, the youngest informed my sister that thanks to his good behavior and the elf's reports, Santa brought him the best stuff.

This past weekend while helping my sister put out her Christmas stuff we came across the elf. We were both so excited to see the what the boys reaction would be when they found the elf on the shelf...

I called the boys down to the basement, while my sister snuck the elf upstairs.  Once she had him in place, she yelled out like she was surprised and called for the boys.  When they saw the elf they squealed in excitement, even the 6 year old was all for it.  They were so so so excited to see the elf.  They started asking him how he was, and wondering when he got there.  The 5 year old ran and got him a candy cane.  It was so cute.





I know what you are thinking...
That's not THE Elf on the Shelf.
No, it's Christopher Pop-In-Kins.
My sister said, "he is special to our family so I used him."
So use any elf you want, it works.

Christopher Pop-In-Kins up close.


Low and behold, for the next few hours they were on their best behavior and constantly checking on the elf.  When they were not looking I moved the elf and set him up so it looked like he was eating the candy cane.  When the boys found him and saw that he was eating the candy cane they were beside themselves with joy.  It really was super awesome to witness.



This is where I moved him
and gave him the candy cane.


Needless to say, we will have an elf too.  I am going to buy one, make him a tradition and then just wait until Ollie notices him.  That day I will feed him the load of wank, and pray the Elf works as well on him as it does on my heathen nephews. I may even make up a scary story about how if Ollie doesn't behave the elf will not only call off Christmas, but birthdays too.  Yep, I am going to be that mom!

Tis the damn season...


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

8 comments:

Shay Grant said...

Sadly yes, THAT parent is out there - I know one of 'em!
I'm with you though, definitely gonna embrace the Santa thing! And as for the Elf, ohmigod I LOVE it!!! I'm gonna go hunting for one, it's such a sweet idea. Surely adding to the magic of Christmas can't be a bad thing (and ya know what, I'm even gonna put my Teacher hat on here - it encourages the use of imagination and provides a child friendly and engaging context in which kids can develop the skills of giving, patience and optimism) - the world is a crappy enough place that our babies deserve a little respite.
I remember finding out about Santa - I was just chuffed that I was now one of the grownups who knew the truth, and a tad embarrassed that I'd been so keen to believe lol.
Long live Santa Claus! Ho ho ho fricken ho!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Great point Teacher Shay! I plan to do everything I can to help Oliver dream and imagine anything he wants. I have already told FTD The Oliver will be a backyard explorer, and not a couch surfer. I love my memories of make believe... not playing nintendo!

Jessika said...

LMAO- yep... I caved last year too and had to find an Elf... honestly, it was horrible trying to find it- everyone was sold out (REALLY???). It came from talking to a couple parents in Kaely's class, they would have mischievous elves who would do random things like drawing on photos, or leaving things around- it became a big game... sounded like a blast- aka, tons of work! But... Kaely has already started in on how the Santa at the mall is just a helper, which is the beginning of the end... gotta ramp up the holiday spirit again over here, especially for the babies!!!

foodpixie said...

We are Atheists, so we won't be doing the whole Santa thing other than as a fun story. Luckily we have a couple of years before we have to try to have the talk about other children and their beliefs. It will probably be her first lesson on world religions and how to respect others' beliefs. A lot to digest for a 3 or 4 year old.

In my humble opinion, it's usually the kid who is cynical/disillusioned about finding out that Santa is a sham that blabs to the whole class or neighborhood.

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

That elf is a popular guy... I saw a bunch at Macy's this year. I have to say though.... I like my sister's Christopher Pop-in-kins more than the actually elf on the shelf. Children really make the season. I cannot wait until Ollie can really experience the magic of Christmas!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

So no Santa or Christmas? No gifts with your parents and sibling? Will you tell your daughter to keep santa not being real a secret?

Sorry I guess I didn't think of the Atheists parents out there... I respect your beliefs... or lack there of...

foodpixie said...

Oh we totally do holidays and presents with our families. I love twinkly lights, cookies, Christmas specials. My sister and I talked about the Santa thing last year, when I was pregnant, since her baby is 1 year older than mine. My husband and I are going to try our best to relate to our daughter about keeping the Santa secret for her cousins, and friends. Probably won't be a problem till she starts talking in full sentences.

Two great movies to help explain Santa are The History Channel's Christmas Unwrapped, and a Finnish movie about St. Nikolas called Christmas Story. Both are really for an older audience maybe 9 and up.

Shay Grant said...

I'm with you completely! This summer I'm banning the xbox unless the kids and/or I are sick or overly tired - after all, what's the point in a stream and paddocks if the kids only ever see them from the window??

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