What. Just. Happened?

I don't even know where to start. The last three days were anything but average. Maybe it's that Oliver has only a few days left of being 7-months old, and wanted to catch up on milestones, or his fever caused delirium. What ever it was, the last three days have been intense, annoying and shocking to say the least...


The short story... My weekend played out like this. Oliver mastered the fever, shit smear, sipping from a straw, crap sleep, snot smear, fussing, standing unaided, SCREAMING and finally deciding, I'll have what she's having!

So listen up Mrs. What to Expect When You're expecting the First Year Milestones:  Stick my weekend in your pipe and smoke it!


The long story... NO worries, I still shortened it as much as possible.

Fever: 

When I was putting Ollie down Thursday night I thought he felt warm, but not warm enough to signal any alarms.  By Friday morning the boy was hot! It was clear I needed to take his temperature to see how how he was. My friends, we don't play the rectal temp game in my house. We have one of those worthless forehead strips that gives a shotty estimate, and a regular digital thermometer for when we really want to know what's going on. (FYI: FTD thinks the strip is great and totally accurate. I think otherwise.)

After FTD's crap strip read 101 degrees Fahrenheit, I busted out the digital, reliable, one. All I could think was Oh No! This is possibly going to be Oliver's first actual temperature, and I have no clue what to do. Fear was setting in. My little guy was properly sick!  The digital thermometer read 102 degrees.  I called a been there done that friend to see what to do. She told me to calm down and give him Advil and see if it brings the temp down. I calmed down, gave him the Advil and waited... (I know I should have called the doctor's office, but I knew they would just say come in, and I just didn't think Ollie was that sick.)

This vicious cycle of stupid head strip, digital thermometer, then Advil, repeated every 8 hours for the next 24...  Finally by the 24th hour the fever broke. Still, Oliver showed signs of feeling crappy all weekend. So sad to see him that way. Then all of the sudden around 5pm on Sunday he was a happy energetic baby again.

Some moms said maybe it's teething?  Others said maybe viral?  What ever it was, good riddance!

Shit smear: When I put Ollie down for his midday nap I let him nap in my bed. Once he woke up, I went ahead and changed him on my bed while he was still too dopey. Hoping to avoid the log rolling ritual he does at every diaper change to make me crazy. I took off his onesie, then the diaper, SHIT EVERYWHERE!  EVERYWHERE!  Up the back, and coming out of the sides of the diaper. Of course I did not notice until there were shit angels (you know as opposed to snow angels) all over the sheet.  Normally I would cry, but Ollie was sick, so I changed Oliver and the sheets with a smile. (Albeit a fu*king smile)

Sipping from a Straw: I always have a big cup of water. Always. Since Ollie has become Mr. Grab & Dump, I have had to use only cups with lids. (Think Starbucks, plastic screw-on lid cups.)  Anyways. I'm holding Oliver and pick up my water to have a drink.  He always grabs at the straw, but never does anything but yank it out.  This time he grabbed it, stuck it in his mouth and sucked! No kidding the 7-month-old monster drank from my straw!  Thank God it was not Daddy's scotch straw.  Beware parents, babies drink from straws when you least expect it!

Crap Sleep: With Oliver feeling like ass, he had been sleeping like ass too. Both Thursday and Friday night Oliver was up every two hours just fussing. I changed him every time then nursed him back to sleep.  Again, my lil' man was sick, I was prepared to put up with anything with a smile. (Again, albeit a fu*king smile)

Snot Smear: Since I had two bad nights in a row with Oliver, FTD got up with him so I could sleep in on Saturday moring. When it was time for Oliver to nurse, FTD brought him into bed with me. I nursed him and then we both went back to sleep. When we woke up and hour later Ollie, had a streak of snot across his face, I had one on my chest, and the sheets had a nice smear too.

YES!!  The new clean sheets. I could not believe it, the damn sheets again! As per the theme of the weekend, Oliver was sick, so I cleaned him, my chest and changed the sheets with another (fu*king) smile. Even though this time I was close to breaking!

Fussing: Oliver is not regularly a fussy baby.  However, when he is pissed, or as I have learned, not feeling well, Oliver is a very fussy baby. All day Friday and Saturday, were spent trying to appease and unappeasable baby.

I never cried. I am very proud of that. Still had the Fu*king smile through all of the fussing!

Standing Alone:  Oliver has now figured out he can stand up un-aided for 3 seconds.  He pulls himself up, lets go with one hand, then lets go with the other, wobbles back and forth trying to keep his balance then falls backwards.  It's so scary because he tries this on anything he can pull himself up on, even if furniture is right behind him. My son is trying so hard to bust his head open or give me and FTD a heart attack or both.  As much I am impressed, I am not stoked about this.  Oliver is a week shy of 8-months-old.  Standing and walking should not be on the books yet! right?

SCREAMING! God help me and my house. When Oliver finally started feeling better on Sunday afternoon, he also started screaming.  Not mad screaming, just plain screeching screaming. After 15 straight minutes I didn't know what was going on.  I called my sister to let her listen. She just laughed and said, "Oliver is coming into his voice. It sounds beautiful!" Naturally, I asked her if she was drunk. This screaming went on for 30 minutes before he finally stopped. Thankfully he still has not started back up.

Seriously, screaming to scream. If your child has not done this yet, do yourself a favor and go buy earplugs, because it will do your head in!

I'll have what she's having: Last but certainly not least, Oliver is over raw and pureed food. He wants what's on my plate. He wants his food cooked and warm and that's the end of it. He ate my potato, beans, and I am sure if I let him, my meat. I am still leary about giving him meat. I was hoping to make it to 9-months to let his digestive system further develop, but I am not sure if I can fight him off for that long.

What a weekend!  For those of you out there worried about your child hitting a specific milestone, or milestones, worry no more. That shit can happen all at once over a 72 hour period. Oliver had his first fever, drink from a straw, stand on his own, potato and macaroni and "came into his voice" all in the same weekend!  Did I see any of this coming?  Hell no!  However, this weekend has taught me, when you least expect it, your baby will blow your mind and expectations!





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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

23 comments:

Kitten said...

What a damned weekend you've had. The straw thing I know occurred early. I teased Nathan with some Starbucks iced tea at a young age and he became determined to get to it when he saw the cup again.

As for the walking, one of my best friend's son walked at nine and a half months, and he was attempting earlier. Sorry. Thank gosh Noelle looks to be a slug like her brother. ;)

I hope you get some sleep now that Ollie is better. Just a hint for fevers. We always used Advil, but sometimes we also used a warm bath. The water evaporating off their skin will help reduce a fever, so long as the water is not burning hot (which it would not be for a baby, anyways).

Also, be prepared for the first time your child projectile vomits real food all over himself, you, your sheets, leaving your mattress smelling of vomit. This has occurred several times at our household. It's gotten to the point where I'm not even freaked out by throw up any longer. I just try to prevent any of it from reaching my sheets, including throwing myself or my clothes under his mouth.

Anonymous said...

So happy that you made it through the poo and snot storms... you SHOULD feel proud of yourself for not breaking down! :-) You did great, momma.

That being said, with the winter months ahead of us, I feel the need to prepare you... there is going to come a time when poo and snot would be welcomed over your little man getting sick to his stomach. It's going to be at least a couple of years before Oliver can verbalize when he feels like he's going to throw up... which means that the odds are very high that you will be his target. :-( Babies have amazing aim.

Take a deep breath. Babies can tell when a parent is stressed and it stresses them out more. Don't worry about calling the doctor immediately, focus on cleaning up both of you and making him as comfortable as possible first. Hop in the shower with him and then dress him in an outfit that will be very easy to remove in case he gets sick again. Dress yourself the same way, or drape a blanket/towel over your shoulder when you are carrying him to try and prevent another dual shower. Check his temp and take a moment to think about his mood, feeding schedule, diapers, and anything else significant that comes to mind BEFORE you call the doctor. The more information you have for them, the easier it will be to decide if he needs to be seen and to give you suggestions on how to help him feel better. Keep a pen and paper nearby to take notes.

I check my Tylenol and Advil levels each time I'm about to head to the grocery store during the winter months to make sure we don't have an Oh Shit moment. I also like to keep some Pedialyte on hand in case my baby girl has diarrhea. To keep a baby from becoming dehydrated, think little, itty-bitty sips. If they're throwing up in addition to having loose stool, drinking a large amount of anything will just come right back up. Little sips every 15 minutes should be enough to keep them from needing IV fluids. As always, check with your doctor.

Shay Grant said...

Oh my stars, (eh hehe ,how very '50s housewife!) what a weekend!
Glad to hear Ollie is better, sounds like it was a biggie for all of you. Your wee man seems like he is zooming along in his milestones, he'll be walking before you know it!
Fingers crossed for a peaceful week, or if that is a no-go, then perhaps a temporary bout of insanity to at least make it entertaining?!

Jessika said...

OMG- I swear you ripped a page out of my past week or two! I had to wince and laugh at the same time reading this, and everyone here winces over Chase's "screech" as well. Sucks ass! Congrats on the standing monster- Kaely stood around the same age and walked at 8 1/2 months- soooo- be prepared :) I am hoping Ollie is feeling better, and hope the week is a little less eventful- Hang in there!

Lillian Connelly said...

What a crazy weekend. I'm glad you all survived!

Sorry kid, your mom doesn't play well with others said...

Brought me back to my firsts with the kiddos... Damn you got it all in one weekend! Glad you made it through, with a fng smile!

Chewylicious said...

awwww geeeze i'm so sorry babe...didn't know it was that bad! that's awful! i'm so glad his fever broke and that everything is better now....

i don't know what i'm going to do...i woulda cried...i mean if they scream...what am i going to do? is it going to be even possible living in an apt? ack! what's going to happen ....

i really don't know if i'm ready...or if i'll ever be ready =*(

Alissa said...

Way to go Ollie!! Sorry mama that all that happened on the same weekend... that's A LOT. James is just figuring out the crawling thing... Hoping we have a few more weeks before he tries anything too dangerous.

Firsttimedad said...

I feel that I must correct your biased and erroneous bloggings about colourful head-strip-temperature thingos.

A quick interweb search reveals that they are 112% reliable and used for centuries with ZERO side-effects!

Doctor Fu, head of the prestigious royal academy of temperature taking in Shandong province, China states clearly that the head-strip-temperature thingo is completely accurate to several thousand nano-kelvins and is a perfect tool for feeling "heats & coolings ontop of babie head in stylish fashion. Battery not include"

So there! Bloody rectal reading indeed!!!!!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Thanks, Kitten! It was a damned weekend! Thanks for the bath tip, I love anything that keeps the meds off his belly. And the walking... I don’t even want to talk about it yet. We just baby proofed crawl level. Baby proofing two feet higher will be the death of our stuff! And thanks for the vomit on the bed warning. I am completely disgusted!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

HUGE! Thank you SO SO SO SO much for this. I just copied and emailed it to myself and FTD to be printed out. These are great tips. So much so, I am going to repost this comment with a compilation of great tips. Thanks again. This information is so valuable to a new mom!!!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Thank Shay. I know you know even more how scary it is to have a baby with a fever. I actually thought of you this weekend. You really held it together under crazy circumstances.

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Thanks Jess. Here's hoping! So far so good...

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Me too!

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

That smile was more like crazy lady by Sunday... Comitable smile...

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

You will never feel ready. But you are a strong wonderful woman, you are more than ready. xx

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Watch out! One day Ollie was rocking on all fours, the next he was moving, the next her was crashing into EVERYTHING!! keep me posted! xx

April @First Time Mom and Dad said...

Really? Dr. Fu? You might as well have said he was from 'Shamadama dolla dingdong provence.

Shay Grant said...

Bahaha, Dr. Fu?? Really???
Sorry hun but you upped me on this one - I bawled like a little girl when I was by myself! Sick babies blow almighty kumara chunks (metaphorically and sometimes even literally) !

Anonymous said...

I learned it by trial and error, so I'm happy to help... and honored that you will be sharing some of my tips! A few other things I've picked up over this past year.....

Keep a red wash cloth in your first aid kit. Why? When your little one gets a cut, 1. you won't ruin any other wash cloths and 2. they won't be able to see the blood on the red cloth, so it won't scare them

Wet a wash cloth and put it in the freezer. Your little one will fall at some point and bust a lip, bite his tongue, or make his gum line bleed. He won't want you looking in his mouth right away so, to help stop the bleeding and reduce some of the potential swelling, distract him by letting him suck/chew on the frozen cloth. If you find that his gum line is bleeding, you'll also want to call the dentist and tell them what happened... they will probably want to see him to make sure he didn't do any damage to his teeth

Hilary @ Peanut Butter Spoonfuls said...

Aww hugs to you and guys! Way to go Ollie on all the new milestones and way to go you for surviving them all and the fever :)

Layes Landing said...

We were dealing with first illness too this weekend! Your post again was like reading my life but in a funny, stress-diffusing way! Went to the doc-he had a little baby sore throat called hepantovirus. much better now! Your Ollie was born on my Owie's due date.

Layes Landing said...

LOL!

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