Mommy Fail # 9 – My baby rolled off the couch.


Um. Yeah. We suck.  Yes, WE suck, dad was in on this epic fail too.  I have always heard that “all babies roll off the couch sooner or later.”  “HA!” I said to that. Not my baby.  No way would I be foolish enough to let him roll off the couch.  WRONG! Fail. Minus 2 points First Time Mom and Dad.

I was just finishing up sorting through some warm weather baby clothes, when I walked into the living room to find dad and bub playing on the couch.  Just as I sat down to join them I realized I forgot my water in the nursery, so I stood back up to go get it.  At the same time dad stands up and walks away too.  We realized we were both walking off so we stopped, looked at each other, then back at Oliver… just as he took the dive off the couch.

OMG! OMG! OMG!  Dad’s screaming, I’m screaming, Oliver is definitely screaming. I got to Ollie first, picked him up and held him close. Trying not to cry myself, I start telling him it’s ok and kissing away.  Dad’s still freaking out, checking every inch of his little baby body.  Poor Ollie, I think us freaking out might have freaked him out even more. (Hmm possibly epic fail #10 right there...)

It took about two full minutes, but dad and Ollie finally stopped screaming and crying.  I’m still not sure which of them was more traumatized by the whole experience.  Dad felt so terrible, he was so worried that Oliver was broken. He took little man from me and kissed all ten fingers and toes, checked his ears, counted his hair follicles... First Time Dad was a first rate wreck.  I kept downplaying it, promising all babies rolled off the couch, and the fact that he was crying, meant he was ok.  

It was scary.  Very scary.  My poor baby rolled off the couch. Luckily, neither one of us was fully responsible for the fail, so we could not play the blame game. We both felt equally terrible and hugged and kissed as a family once everyone calmed down.  No harm. No foul.

My friends, my husband and I are great loving parents and we failed. It happens. I felt terrible for letting it happen, but it was an accident.  Accidents happen.  Unfortunately, now that Oliver is becoming more mobile, we cannot take our eyes off of him for a minute, not even a second.  Unless he is securely locked down in a docking station. 

Lesson learned: The days of the motionless slug are over.  Our baby has become a mover and shaker.  We can no longer leave him unattended for a second.   








Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me! No sign up. Just click this badge and come right back!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

20 comments:

foodpixie said...

It's so hard not to scream and cry when they do. My poor baby was looking at me tonight with the reddest tear stained face and attempting a smile. I had to try so hard to make silly smiley faces and not the oh poor baby face.

So glad Ollie and all made it through the first fall. Ours is still coming.

Kitten said...

Ha! Nathan was a complete SLUG. He didn't roll over until month 6 or so. He never crawled. He mastered scootering on his tushie pretty late in the game. He didn't walk until month 16! I could never entice him into moving. He would just lay aimlessly where I left him and I got used to it. Can you guess where this is going? Month 7 or so, I put him on his tummy on the bed and went to grab a load of laundry. Please note that my laundry area is in view of the bed, so this is not as horrible as it seems. I shove some clothes into the dryer and I hear a bang. I screamed and ran into the bedroom and no Nathan on the bed! Then he started wailing. We both wailed pretty damned hard for a few minutes. I got lucky, he scooted back and landed on his tush mostly. After that? He got pack-n-played while I did laundry.

Noelle is such a jumpy bug that she's been desperately attempting to scoot forward this week. She fails miserably, but she pushes her little legs for it.

Don't worry. Most moms do it or leave their baby with someone who does it. I do think its hilarious that your husband who is always pushing Ollie to do more and be more active and more playful flipped out.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Thanks Foodpixie. I think Ollie will forgive us, however I'm afraid it will take some time before We forgive Us. Lol. Sorry to hear you had to deal with a sad face too. :(

First Time Mom (April) said...

Ooh good point Kitten! Let's see if FT dad is so bold anymore. He felt like the shit of the century.,

The bed... Thank God they are so resilient. Oliver didn't even have a mark!

So you think Noelle will dive for it? Or is she pack n played?

Mrs. Loquacious said...

The other day Baby L rolled twice on the floor just as Hubbs looked away, and she hit the back of her head on the bottom edge of our entertainment unit. Cue wailing and big fat tears and the need to be nursed and cuddled by momma. Hubbs was beside himself with worry and guilt. Not a red mark to be found, but my kid refused to look at Daddy without crying again for a solid half hour, during which Hubbs felt like the worst daddy on the planet. Accidents happen and babies are resilient. There is nothing to beat yourself up about. :)

Shay Grant said...

Oh no :-( It sucks the big kumara, doesn't it?
Poor Ollie, FTD and you! Glad you all came out the other side a little wiser but unscathed.
The first time Isaiah got hurt because of me (he lurched forward and when I grabbed him I bumped him in the chin with my thumb - it bruised!) I bawled every time I looked at his gorgeous wee face with a thumbprint on it, even though he only cried a tiny bit when it first happened then built a bridge and got over it. I think we are the harshest judges of our own actions.
Hubby takes a rather more pragmatic position on baby accidents - he calmly reminds me on a regular basis that babies bounce!

AussieMummy said...

Now imagine dropping your baby from a height into tiles at a speed due to you falling.. Understand why I called an ambulance? I was hysterical! Luckily he was fine.. It was just my poor knee that took the brunt of the fall.

Jessika said...

Awwwww! That sucks! Dave almost lost Chase out of his arms the other day on the couch- didn't realize what a squirmy little butt he's become- it sucks, but so true. They all fall eventually, doesn't make you feel any less shitty about it, but at least you were right there for him :)

Anonymous said...

As terrifying as it is to see your child fall off the couch, your writing is hilarious. I am almost 11 weeks pregnant and had my first true blue squalling session in the car with my husband. We work together, so slipping off to the car to privately talk about the day and how we feel is pretty easy. Well today started with me visiting the hubby in the lab, and we were discussing my almost around the clock nausea which in turn led to "when was the last time you drank milk" question. I knew I was in trouble. For the life of me I hate milk and know the baby needs it but because it is not something that I drink on a daily basis, I genuinely forgot. Hubby goes into panic mode and starts telling about how important the nutrients are because the spine, brain and nervous system are developing. I know this already because I was the one who told him. However, being the emotional basket case I am on this day I start crying at work. We work for a small lab so EVERYONE knows us and escaping 100ft down the hall to the outside world where I could hide in the car and gain my composure was like traversing a labyrinth. We make it to the car and hubby is clueless as to why I am crying and of course not being able to explain this sudden burst of tears is frustrating. Face swollen and red, tear tracks and the telltale tear marks on my shirt were not helping me regain composure. Just when I thought I was about to get it all under control, the hubby puts his hand on my leg to comfort me and tells me everything is going to be ok and then the sobbing kicks up a knotch. Hubby is left with a second set of questions, what is wrong, why are you crying again? We continue this for about 30 minutes. Thank God my job rocks and the boss doesn't care when I have a huge pregnancy induced hormonal moment, as long as it isn't public. The point of all my rambling is that I stumbled across your page today and have tried to stifle the bouts of laughing at my desk. Your stories are a mood booster and a life saver. Thank you so much!!!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Poor dads! Funny how the moms hold it together. That's got to be an instinct thing... Even thoug we really are crying inside.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Poor dude. And you! I tell you babies fo bounce, and we hurt worse than the babies and for longer too!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Oh my dear Aussie Mummy friend. I cannot even imagine the horror. However, if it was half as bad as your knee looked... I'm so sorry. xx

First Time Mom (April) said...

Actually, i still feel shitty, but at least I've got some great company at my shitty party... millions of moms and all. Thank God Babies are so resilient.

First Time Mom (April) said...

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!! Funny that word congratulations... a friend and I were talking the other day about how wrong it is to use on a first time preggy. "YAY! you are expecting a baby," is best. Becuse being pregnant is not so congratulations becuse whou wants to celeabrate feeling like ka-ka, throwing up, yelling at your husband and sobing hysterically ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!

My friend, YAY! Now, go check out my other site www.tiredofbeingpregnant.com you will need a few of those stories,. And your husband may too. : )

Oh and the milk thing. I just ate one organic "fruit on the bottom" yogurt a day. My son came out like a brick shit house, so it worked!

All the very best to you and hubs,

Kitten said...

Noelle is already attempting to dive out of her car seat and bouncy seat if she isn't buckled in, so we buckle her in all the time and she gets pack and played or play matted for anything longer than that. Yesterday she tried to throw herself from my arms while I climbed down the stairs. I threw myself backwards instead and she fell on top of me while I slid down a few. Thanks, Noelle!

First Time Mom (April) said...

OMG! Kitten! Stair sledding with Noelle. I'm sure that was loads of fun. yikes!

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for my daughter to take a dive. She is 10.5 months old and is FEARLESS!! She recognizes that there is a drop off and is sure that she will be okay going down it, as long as it's head first. Even her pediatrician has commented on it her lack of "oh shit, I shouldn't be doing this." We've been lucky that the only thing she's fallen off of has been her gigantic teddy bear, but she'll be walking soon. Yikes. Walking. I don't know if I'm ready.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Lol! I'm hoping Ollie's dive knocked the " oh shit I shouldn't be doing this" sense into him! It sound like your caught lacks it, because she hasn't taken the plunge.

Good luck to you both on two legs instead of four!

Layes Landing said...

Why did your husbands response make me tear up? It was just so sweet.

AussieMummy said...

I figure that it's better my knee than his head :)

The Archives

Follow by Email

Looking For Something?