Hey! Don't talk baby to my baby. He's a genius in training.


Aaaaaahhhh woooogggggyyyyy boooogggooooo dooo ppppppooooooofffffftttttaa, whoooosy issss the cutest wittle boooooppppy???

WTF?  What language is that?  I personally cannot stand baby talk, and thankfully neither can First Time Dad.  We speak softly and kindly to our baby, but baby talk is capitol O U T out!  How is my baby expected to develop a solid vocabulary when his foundation is built on woooggggy, booooggggy and boooopppppy bullshit?

I'll never forget 10+ years ago while working as a server at an upscale restaurant, I waited on a mother and her 3 year old daughter.  The little girl was so well spoken and articulate, it full on blew my mind.  I commented to the mother about how impressed I was with her daughter.  She told me very matter of fact that she, "never spoke baby talk to her."  From that day on I decided if I ever had a child, I would never speak baby talk to my baby either.

Don't get me wrong, I always use a very kind and sweet pitch and tone with Oliver, but I also make it a point to enunciate my words.  When I sing the ABC's to Ollie I even slow down a L, M, N, O, P and it's always X, Y, Z . I do not add the X, Y, (and) Z.  I also will not, under any freaking circumstance, allow my son to watch those toddler shows with unexplainable beings that do not speak one recognizable word, in ANY language! For example, the teletubbies. OMG!  What is that shit?

I always try to keep my own personal opinions out of my blogs, but this is one area I am passionate about.  I think it is entirely possible to be a kind, warm, loving mother without pouring heaps a baby-waby crap on. I want Oliver to be a super smart, well spoken, respectable young man from the earliest age possible.

So, I say to the strangers in the grocery store, and old ladies in church, "Hey! Don't talk baby to my baby. He is a genius in training.


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

16 comments:

Kitten said...

Weird fact, I never baby talked either, but then questioned that decision when I started seeing articles like this posted places:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/03/050329143741.htm

and:

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20050316/baby-talk-may-help-infants-learn-faster

Note, these articles suggest that it is the pitch and tone of our voices rather than the words. In other words, letting your voice pitch higher and drawl a bit might be good for your children, but the fake words aren't.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Very Interesting! I just read both articles to FTD. We both still feel like our kind sweet pitch and tone are the best we can do. We are not making up baby language, becuse we don't see how Oliver will pick out fake words... FTD also speaks and sings to Oliver in German. So, our son has a mom with an American accent, a dad with an Australian Accent and is sung to in German... that's how we roll.

Shay Grant said...

Lol! Mm no, no teletubbies here either!
I don't baby talk for Isaiah, but I do simplify my language, i.e. 'ta' instead of 'thank you' or 'gentle' rather than 'please don't claw mummy's eyes out' ;-)
I read an article somewhere (sorry, I'm not as organised as Kitten lol) that suggested people unconsciously raise their voice an octave when talking to babies, something to do with evolution?
I think Mr. Ollie will be a very well rounded baby with a mix of accents and languages!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Lol! Gentle! I went with easy killer this afternoon when he was clawing at my face. I also think its safe to say I go an octive higher at times.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I don't do too many nonsense words either, although I read Dr. Seuss to Baby Loquacious (and he uses tons of silly words), and I also do a little ditty that goes like this: "BaBaBaBaBa, DaDaDaDaDa, GaGaGaGaGa, MaMaMaMaMaMaMa, PaPaPaPaPa!" to show her how my mouth moves when I form those consonants. I catch her rehearsing these mouth movements silently sometimes, although she has only figured out Ba and Ma so far.

We definitely use higher pitches and more melodic, "singsong" voices though, and I'm trying to keep Baby L's ears "open" to different language sounds by speaking to her in Cantonese and English. She also has a stuffed froggie that only speaks a little bit of French and a duck that speaks a teensy bit of Mandarin (since my fluency in both of these is limited at best).

So yep, Baby L is joining Ollie in the "Genius-in-Training" club!

Shay Grant said...

Hahaha I went for an entire new musical range when Isaiah shredded my lip with his needle vice fingers! It went from a calm 'gentle' to 'Arhhh! I said fricking GENTLE!!!' :)

Claire said...

We use gentle too. However i use to love the teletubbies, i still don't mind it as everything they say is made up, my problem is with the programmes that have real thing but use made up words for then. one programme over here called waybaloo is really bad. four cartoon characters mixed with real kids. but they refer to the children as chebbies there are butterflies but there not called butterflies the list goes on. i think if its a made up place with made up thingsits fine to have made up words. but if it real then keep it real,and use the right word. also with saying my child will never watch or see. i thought the same about barney. all was going fine until one xmas he got a barney car luckily it didn't make a noise, then that summer we had our first family holiday we went to a holiday camp aimed at children called butlins and off we went to see the first show and guess who came on the big purple dinosaur from his car. he got so excited and 2 years on he still loves him. also watch out when it comes to play dates sam's come back all excited about a new cartoon he saw at a friends house,its heartbreaking when you've tried so hard for them not to see it.and the more you hate it the more they love it!!

foodpixie said...

Thanks for posting those articles. It is so hard to find science on the internet sometimes. Hopefully this will help clarify what is useful and what isn't. Luckily, I was following this model anyway.

Another thing I've seen, as a child care provider, is younger children developing speech sooner by being around already speaking children.

First Time Mom (April) said...

My second nephew was talking up a storm by 1! I fully believe kids learn to speak sooner being around other kids. We are putting oliver in daycare at 1 for that exact reason. He needs to socialize and learn from other children.

Fancy Pants said...

I don't participate in to much baby talk, the closest I get is when I try to show her how to make the mouth movements. So I might be going lalalalalalalala, or bababababa, or mamamama, or dadadadada, but that's as far as it goes. I believe communication is developed by 2 years of age and I don't have any science to prove it just 5 nieces and 3 nephews that I have watched grow. They have all been excellent communicators and were never talked to via baby talk. Interesting Ollie will be speaking two languages, I have been looking into this and might start teaching her Spanish and German in a few months, seems like it would be easier for her to pick up this early. I like to speak to her in a true english accent and she loves it, giggles and raises her voice. She definately loves listening to daddy and I talk and often babbles at us like she is really saying some important stuff.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Between FTD and I we have Spanish (me) German (him) and a little bit of French (me) lots (him) we are making it a point to teach Ollie multiple languages at a young age.

Or at least build a foundation.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Crap! I didn't even think about that! Watching crap at a friends house! Or even at my sister or brother's where they have kids a couple of years older that Oliver.

First Time Mom (April) said...

FTD's dad was Austrian and his grandparents rarely spoke any English, so he grew up in a German speaking environment. He sings him
German songs. I want my son to be bi lingual by 6 years old. We have a friend innAustralia whose daughter is only 5 but speaks both Enhlish and German fluently. It can be done...

Alissa said...

Oh baby talk... how it makes me want to grind my teeth!! My one set of inlaws are notorius for doing this! I have to laugh because sometimes the hubs talks to James like he's an adult and I try to call him out on it... "He's just a baby! Don't talk to him like he's one of your friends". But Hubby reminds me that he hates baby talk and thinks it's far more beneficial to talk to kids like they understand and not to dumb things down. He has a point... But I can't help chuckling a little when I think of James going off to school one day for kindergarten and telling all the kids about the beer brewing process, or politics, or his opinion on how our neighbors should care for thier lawn...

KARA :) said...

WE NEVER BABY TALKED TO MY GIRLS EITHER, ALTHOUGH McKENZI TALKS VERY CLEAR, LILLTE SIS HAS DECIDED SHE WILL REMAIN THE BABY forever!!!!

Nicki The Great said...

We hate baby talk and never used any as well as dragging folks to the backyard for a very proper beatdown when ask not to and they insist it is okay. It is not. So my brother is getting married on the beach Walter by this time is almost three and has been talking non stop since one and since I am catering my parents take him down to the wedding. He has been hanging with my youngest brother Kent who has shop talk and no kid filter. So everyone is on the beach and the preacher gets ready for the I dos and my sweet little son says Will Somebody Get These Fcking Kids to Stop Throwing Sand. How proud I was he was talking like a man lol

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