5/22/12

Moms and Dads a.k.a Venus and Mars


It is so far beyond my realm of understanding how moms and dads have different job titles, yet are supposed to be performing the same job, Parenting.  To make matters worse somehow each parent was trained on different planets, with vastly different ideas of how the job should be done. 

For Example.  

  1. It’s 7 a.m. and the baby is awake and cooing.  This must mean…

Mom:  The baby is ready to wake up for the day and is in a great mood!

Dad:  The baby has no desire to wake up, needs his pacifier/dummy and his mobile turned on. 

 (while dad crawls back in bed for some more sleep.) Dad: "No, that cooing has not turned into I’m bored as hell yelling, that yelling is just “excitements at the spinning mobile characters.”  Mom: "Get your butt up and play with the baby so I can have another hour of sleep! I'm the one who has been up twice already this morning feeding him.")

  1. Midday the baby is rubbing his bright red tired eyes while yawning.  This must mean…

Mom: The baby is ready for a nap!

Dad: The baby is ready for “superfun time”   (Mom: "  That baby has had enough of you dancing to 80’s music while he flails his arms.  He does not need anymore fun time right now!" Dad:  "Are you sure, look at him he is wide awake?"  Mom: "Becuse you won't stop talking to him!")

  1. The baby wakes up from his nap with a MASSIVE package between his legs.

Mom: Someone needs his diaper changed!
Dad: Someone needs to change the baby’s diaper! ( Mom: "  You got him up, you need to change his diaper!")

  1. We are running low on diapers and wipes. This must mean...

Mom: It’s time to go to the store and buy some.
Dad:  We are out of Pepsi Max.  (Mom: "WHAT?")

  1. The baby’s white blanket is pink? This must mean…

Mom: Dad did the laundry!
Dad: "I sure did! He doesn’t care that it’s pink! How am I supposed to know your red towel would do that?" 
           
  1. It’s close to bedtime the baby needs a bath.
Mom: "I’ll go get the bath ready."
Dad: "why does he need a bath?  He didn’t do anything today to get dirty? " Mom: "Really?"

  1. Ahhh finally the baby is bathed and nearly asleep.  This must mean…

Mom: My day almost is finished. I finally get to have a nice long relaxing shower!

Dad:  Hmmm... Maybe I should go into the nursery and ask my wife a stupid unnecessary question in a loud voice. And if the baby is still awake we can have a little more super fun time!


The above are just a FEW examples of the MANY differences between Venus and Mars…er… Moms and Dads.  

I insist if dads (my husband) were always in charge the baby would be running aroundwith bright red tired eyes, a diaper so full it’s dragging the floor, with every crack on the baby full of milk and fuzz, until eventually the bub just fell down and slept…. Next to dad who already fell over…

While dads are great... THANK GOD FOR MOMS!  

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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