Are You Sure I Will Miss This?

I was going through old posts and came across one that listed all of the ridiculous things my two year old was up to. Throughout the post I joked about how people kept saying, One day you will miss this stage.  In no way did I believe them.

Well, I'll be dammed. I do miss some of the stuff from the toddler stage. Below is the original post, "10 Things My Toddler Is Doing That Will Make Your's Look Like An Angel" with my current thoughts in red...

1. MINE! MINE! MINE! Everything is "MINE!" I could pick up a cat turd out of the litter box and he would declare it, "Mine, Mommy, Mine!" Ok, so he's a little smarter about the turds being his, however, he does have a few entitlement issues I'm still trying to iron out. Like, candy for breakfast.

Two years ago when I first read this, I thought it was super funny.
Now, I totally get it how true it is...

2. NO! EVERYTHING is NO! I've decided he answers, NO!, to everything just so he can feel like he has some sort of control, because sometimes it makes no sense. He now has many, many, many more ways to say, No. Most all, more annoying and aggravating.

Me:  Ollie, do you want an Ice Cream Cone?
Ollie: NO!
Me: OK...
Ollie: MINE! Mine Ice Cream Cone, Mommy.
Me: No.

3. Clingier than a school girl with a crush! "Mommy, hold you!" I hear it all day, and at a stout 35 pounds, hold you mommy not only gets old, it gets heavy! I do miss this. He will only be held in the morning or before bed. In between, he is waaaaaaaaay to busy for hugs. 

4. Escape artist. He's learned how to turn locks and open doors. We officially have to lock the front and back doors from inside with a key. The poor kid, already trying to run from us at 2. Sorry, kid, 16 more years to go... turn your little Jeep around.

Nope, nothing has changed here. He still wants new parents most of the time. 

5. The second I get on the phone, ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE! I swear, the minute I get on the phone he gets gitty with excitement for the possibilities.  I can see the little hamster wheel turning in his head... He can't decide if he should draw on the walls, throw his toys down the stairs or chase the cat... or try to do all three at once.Ugh. Still. I will NEVER miss this shit. Never. So freaking annoying!

6. If it can be launched, it will be launched. My kid is going to be the next Peyton Manning for sure. He throws EVERYTHING!  It's actually a real issue. Nothing is safe-- toys, chairs, remote controls, food, anything and everything. Thankfully, it only took two years a few hundred time-outs to correct this. Still happens sometimes. Still don't miss it. 

7. Working the lip like a pro. It's the craziest thing, over the last week, Ollie has figured out how to pout. (I'll get a photo and post it to Instagram.) It's super cute, but the problem is that he clearly knows that. If he wants something he curls that cute little lip out and pouts. Being the spineless pushover that I am... it works like a charm. Now, there's fake crying. It doesn't work. It's crap. I walk away. 

8. Stubborn as a mule. If the kid is not interested, he will plant his feet, curl his lip and declare that my idea or what ever I want is dumbassery, and that he has no intention of entertaining it.  Think: bedtime, nap time, clean-up time, or any other time that infringes on his time. I have to pick him up, all 35 pounds of concrete pile-on, and move him kicking and screaming. This has been corrected with threats of toy or tech time removal. Still, battles happen regularly. I just win much, much easier. 

9. The boy who cried, "Poo-Poos, Mommy." Since we are still actively working on potty training, Ollie knows if he even hints that he has to go, we stop what we are doing and take care of business.  So now when he is not interested in something--i.e. Bedtime-- he insist that he has to poo poo.  It sucks because I have to honor that request. Yes, I am fully aware that 95% of the time I'm just a pawn in his poo-poo game. Now he uses being hungry or thirsty to stall. While I know I am still a pawn in his game, I'm a little smarter, and try to sat a move ahead.

10. Toddler Picasso. The kid is going to be an artist. Working in the medium of "Anything will do." Especially mommy's lipstick and eye liner.  #FAIL

While I miss those cute chubby cheeks, and minimal vocabulary to talk back, I'm so glad my make-up is safe, and we are clearly moving in the right direction from toddler to big boy!

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit