Chances are, you are too. Because, toddlers are masters of selective hearing...
I present an excerpt from; I'm a Lazy Doormat.
There is a growing problem going on in my house right now; Confusion over the meaning of the word no, and the number of times I use it in a row. Basically, the issue is, I say “No!” to Oliver, and most times, he just kind of stares at me, clearly trying to decide what I am going to do if he doesn't listen.
Then nine times out of ten, I say “No!” ten more times before anything happens. I know what you are thinking, if “No!” means, “Stop that right now!” then why do I say it 10 times in a row? I will tell you why, because of these two reasons:
1. “No!” to my sweet son really means, “What? YOU want ME to stop? Like right now? Make me!”
2. And well... at times, my parenting style is lazy doormat. Meaning, I’d rather say, “no,” 10 times then get up off my lazy ass.
So you see... when you combine those two things, you get me saying “NO!” 10 times from the couch, while Oliver gives me his best, make me mommy, cheeky face look. Yes, I am completely aware that this is bad parenting. But no worries, I have a plan!
There is this joke between FTD and I over my mother and her dog, Pepper…
Everyday my mom stands at her backdoor calling for Pepper to come inside and it goes something like this…
Pepper… pepper… pepper… PEPPER! Pepper… pepper pepper pepper pepper pepper…PEPPER YOU COME IN NOW! (Now loop it five or six times)
The really sad thing about my mother’s “Pepper loop” is that, Pepper, RARELY comes. She knows my mom is going to play her loop 44 times before she actually goes out into the yard to get her, so why stop rolling in something gross?
So now, when I sit there on my comfy couch telling Ollie, NO…no…no… NO!... No no no no no… until I ultimately get up and stop him from touching/climbing/ throwing/ or smashing something, I see this horrible parallel between my mother and her dog, and me and my toddler. Not good.
So what’s my brilliant solution? I am only going to say “no” once, and then get up off my lazy ass and sort the situation out. No more ten no’s before I take action!
10/2015 UPDATE:
HAHAHAHAHA!! Let me tell you how well that plan worked...
Two years later, I'm still saying, No!, a few times in a row before getting off my lazy butt. The Toddler's selective hearing is no better, however, his understanding that I'll get up off my ass sooner than later does work well as a deterrent.
The bottom line is that toddlers are special little people. They have no desire to give up control, at least not without a fight. The trick, is not giving in, staying consistent, and what ever you do, say No, ONCE, then take action. Or, face my fate, and have a toddler that thinks he has at least 10-30 seconds before shit gets real.
10/2015 UPDATE:
HAHAHAHAHA!! Let me tell you how well that plan worked...
Two years later, I'm still saying, No!, a few times in a row before getting off my lazy butt. The Toddler's selective hearing is no better, however, his understanding that I'll get up off my ass sooner than later does work well as a deterrent.
The bottom line is that toddlers are special little people. They have no desire to give up control, at least not without a fight. The trick, is not giving in, staying consistent, and what ever you do, say No, ONCE, then take action. Or, face my fate, and have a toddler that thinks he has at least 10-30 seconds before shit gets real.
