MEAN MOMS SUCK! The Mommy Wars are everywhere...

I hear about the mommy wars and how they are about moms who work vs. moms who don't.  Well... News Flash the mommy wars are everywhere over everything! Moms are so competitive and at times just plain nasty. They ignore each other, judge each other, bully each other, talk behind each other's backs and even sabotage each other. What happened to the Sisterhood of the motherhood?

For starters, what is up with moms at the park?  Is it me? Or do they ignore you too?  Wait, are you the mom who ignores me?  I mean, what the hell, do I put on some freaking invisibility cloak before I walk in?  Honestly, it would make me feel better if that was the case!  Why do moms ignore each other at the park? We are all there for the same reason, to let our kids play, there is no need to be rude or try to one up each other.  

Today as I walked up to the toddler park I saw a little boy Ollie's age running around and thought, sweet a friend for Ollie to play with. One thing about having Ollie home instead of in daycare is that he misses out on the social interaction with other kids. As we walked in I smiled at the two moms sitting on the bench STARING AT ME!  They half smiled back at me then went back to talking.  WTF? I thought great so it's going to be like that... bitches!

Another aspect of the mommy wars that makes me crazy is the mom pissing contest.  I always feel like I am in a one up conversation with another mom. It's always how old, how big, what does your child say, do, act, nap, it never ends. There really does seem to be so much competitiveness between moms.  Who will have the best looking kid, the smartest kid, the biggest best birthday party, most well behaved, physically or mentally developed....  I totally get it,  who doesn't want their kid to be the best? I think Ollie is one bad ass kid, but I don't want to shit on you to prove it!  When I find myself in a mommy pissing contest I just let the conversation turn completely to the mom.  My kid is rad, I don't need to be told that or one up another kid to know it.

See.. Rad.
Even if he is in pants too short for him.
He is still RAD!

Look, I get it! It can be uncomfortable for some people to just jump right into friendly conversation at the park. But full-on ignoring someone standing next to you pushing a child on the swings is just awkward! I admit, I expect a little more because I am in the south where southern hospitality is alive and well, (except clearly at the toddler park).  Geez... I am not asking for friendship, but maybe a hello or smile back! Is that too much to ask?

The ugliest form of the mommy wars is the cyber bullying.  That's right, moms cyber bully the hell out of each other.  Twitter and Facebook are two of the worst social media outlets for this. Moms judge, attack and gang up on other moms there. I have been bullied and watched it happen, in fact I bet the farm that a mom is being social media bullied right now! It's what I like to call coward bullying.  It is so easy for these moms to go ape shit crazy on a mom from the safety of their computer.  GROW UP!

WHAT THE HELL?  Why can't we all get along? Why are moms still dragging their personal insecurities into this?  Because that is all it is.  Insecurities.  It's no different then when I would walk into a room full of girls back in high school.  We just sized each other up, compare our insecurities, then ignore each other.  How in the hell has that followed me into mommyhood?  

I know we are not all going to be friends, but for the love of our kids, can't we at least just not be so damn awkward and hateful towards each other? MEAN MOMS SUCK! 

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com


Quirky Chrissy said...

I would totally let you sit at my lunch table.

My Rays of Sunshine said...

Mean moms suck! Wait until you meet sports moms, dance moms, gymnastics moms; they're all real gems. Ollie could be totally rad with my kids. I love that you said rad!

Unknown said...

I was absolutely going to suggest this yesterday when you were searching for a topic- it's so freakin' ridiculous!!! But considering I'm on the opposite end of the competition scale, with Chase being behind on everything- I'm that much more defensive and sensitive to it. I've never understood the cattiness either. Whatever- I say it's their loss ;)

Unknown said...

That's one thing I'm not looking forward to experiencing when I get pregnant. I know you get to hear all kinds of unsolicited advice from other moms. Not to mention the people that think it's okay to touch your stomach. I'm not a very social person, so I can't see myself ever starting up a conversation to a stranger. But I certainly wouldn't ignore them, and I'd say hello at least if we're sharing the same space to push our kids on the swing.

Kari said...

I, like Chrissy, would TOTALLY let you sit at my lunch table too.
I get this whole post completely.
Why do men get along with each other and woman shoot each other down.
Great post!

Alissa said...

Amen Sister!! I usually will let James do the icebreaking for me at the park. He's so social he'll walk up to anyone and try sharing whatever it is he is currently playing with.

But I get you I hate the judgy-mcjudgerton moms (AND DADS) who insist on starting a pissing contest every time a conversation stikes up. Oh and don't get me started on the... "My kid slept through the night from day 1, he never fusses or cries, he's a perfect angel..." LIARS!!! LIARS!! I know you are lying so spare me the 1-upping ok? Let's just get along we are all in this together.

Jess said...

Ugh this just happened to me a couple weeks ago at a birthday party! I haven't seen these moms in months cause I didn't go back to work. Of course I brought the baby with me so they could all finally meet her in person (instead of through the millions of pics I put of Facebook everyday lol). As soon as we got there it started. How does she sleep? Oh I guess I shouldn't tell you that so and so slept through the night at 8 weeks. Is she crawling? Oh so and so crawled at 4 months! Are you still breastfeeding? Oh I was able to do it for 15 months with so and so. It drove me INSANE! Especially the breastfeeding part, cause I tried so hard with it and when I couldn't anymore after only 3 months, I felt like a failure. I just tried to shrug it off. But I didn't understand. These women weren't like that when I saw them everyday at work. I guess having a child of my own, I got to see the real side of them all. It sucked. And I really just don't understand why anyone feels the need to do it. Seriously, grow up moms!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. You are so right. Before my baby was born someone told me that parents lie about their kids, and I thought "Noway ! That is so ridiculous. " but it is so true. A girl I work with had a baby. I asked her how they were doing and she said that her breastfed baby slept all night the first night home. I said that is great but am secretly calling bull hockey.

Roshni said...

I'm really sorry you had these experiences! Maybe that's one reason I never joined the PTA; I've heard enough horror stories about that! I'm generally by myself at the park but if you're right next to me or our kids are playing together, I would definitely start chirping! Flat out ignoring is just rude!!

Kitten said...

I hate to say this, April, but maybe try talking to them? I often stare at other moms awkwardly because I have no idea what to say! I'm an introvert through and through and I often say something dumb if I talk first. So I try to get people to talk to me by giving them a stare which must be weird, in retrospect.

Also, sometimes people aren't lying about angel babies. My son was one. It was amazing. I didn't have an idea it was amazing until I had my daughter. She falls on the more normal scale of child interaction.