11/30/14

10 Ways Parenting Has Turned Me Into A Hoarder

Prior to becoming a mother, I was a minimalist. I didn't hold on to much, preferred to have minimal decorations and refused to have trinkets and stuffed things around because I saw them as unnecessary dust catchers. I lived a simple clutter-free life. Now that I'm a proud mother, I have caught a raging case of motherhoardingitis.

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

It's sad really. I don't know what's wrong with me that I hold tight to ALL of my son's things. Every season I "shed" my crap to feel light and clutter-free, yet with my kid, I turn into that weird little thing on the Lord of The Rings clinging to it's, Precious. All of Ollie's things are my precious.

I fully blame parenting for my newfound hoarding ways.

Here are 10 ways being a parent has turned me into a hoarder:

1. Clothes. My name is April, and I save socks. SOCKS! I have saved every single article of clothing my son has ever owned, right down to his infant socks. Sure, a few things I have donated, others I have loaned out, but anything with an ounce of sentimental value has been sorted folded and stored in labeled storage bins, "just in case".

2. Toys. Every time I sit down to sort my son's toys to throw away the broken ones, or donate the ones that are no longer age appropriate, I inevitably fail miserably. If I come across one of Ollie's favorite toys that has broken, I set it aside like somehow magically Doc McStuffins is going to show up and fix it. Again, anything with one ouch of sentimental value I keep.

It doesn't help that he roosts on his toys.
                                         
3. Books. It's wrong how many books I have come across that have pages torn out or pop-up characters with their head ripped off that I refuse to throw away. Or worse, books that Ollie loved as a baby, that I just can't part with. WTH? Why can't I part with books that are missing half their pages?  If they were mine, I'd throw them away? It's pure dumbassery!

4. Baby stuff. I have bags and boxes of baby bottles, nursing pump attachments, nursery decorations, burp cloths, baby blankets... Again, I have no plan to use them ever again, but still hold on to them like a bad habit. I'm so bad, I save match missing mittens, and make holiday ornaments out of them.

To see the post on how to make 

Super cute Mismatched Mitten Holiday Ornaments 
                                       
5. Art work. I have every single piece of art my kid has ever made. ALL OF THEM!  I even have the first menu he colored at a restaurant tucked in his Baby Book. I just can't bring myself to part with them. Any of them. Even the ones Ollie has gone back and ripped up or tried to destroy!


6. Shoes. I have every single pair of shoes my kid has ever worn. I keep them in a huge bin. For what? Not a freaking clue.

7. Medical records. I have kept every single piece of paper and milestone sticker the pediatrician has given me. You know how you get a new updated immunization sheet every time your child gets a vaccination?  Yeah, I still keep the outdated ones. #Hoarder



8. Photos. I have THOUSANDS of photos I cannot part with.  The really sad thing is that just to get one good photo I took fifty, and did I delete the forty-nine that failed?  No. Of course not, I'm a hoarder. It's like I'm afraid if I delete one bad photo, I will miss something.  My smartphone has so many photos, I have to delete a few to take a few. I take 'proud mother' to a level of photo-ridiculousness.

9. Gifts.  Every single thing my son has given me, I have kept; including flowers, rocks and yes, even two sticks! I keep them all in a keepsake box. At this rate, by the time he is ten years old, I will need a storage unit the size of a small house.
I have that flower framed with this photo! 

10. Crap. That's right, I save crap too.  Noooo.. not crap-crap, but odds and end crap that Ollie picks up, loves and leaves behind that I pick up and hold on to just in case he comes back for it.  My handbag is so full of crap! Weighing in at a hefty two tons, my handbag has cars, cheap vending machine toys, half-eaten snacks, broken crayons from a restaurant with a folded up menu, a rock or two, a leaf, sticker from the grocery lady... crap I tell you, and do I even dream of throwing it away? Absolutely not. #Hoarder

Has parenting turned you into a hoarder too?





April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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