12/2/13

I was sick over the weekend. Aka. The cat was away, so the mice went NUTS!

I am a fever away from dying.  Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating a little bit.

But. Only. A. Little. Bit.




On Friday afternoon, I caught a chill that I knew was the precursor to, UH-OH you're sick.  Then it happened...  Two hours later the sickness hit me like a ton of you-are-so-screwed-now bricks.  I was sick.  SICK.SICK.SICK. To make matters worse, within two minutes from the sick-shit bricks hitting me, FTD was fully in charge, I was in bed and hell was surfacing! As FTD immediately took command of the family ship, all I could do was watch from the shell that was my worthless body.

My friends, the past 72 hours were hell on me, however, for FTD and the man-child… not so much.  Those two went monkey balls crazy, while I was away in sick land.  This is pretty much how the weekend played out when I went down for the count… OR 10 Ways Hell Breaks Loose When Mom Is Sick...


1. Breakfast and lunch become Cupcake brunch.
2. The cat seeks refuge from the insanity by sleeping on my head.
3. Bathing becomes overrated for all members of the household.
4. The laundry pile is being assessed by Geologist as a possibility of becoming North America's newest mountain range.
5. The grocery shopping list is shortened to, cupcakes, toilet paper, beer, and Spaghetti O's.
6. The living room floor has been washed away by a sea of toys.
7. The weekly grocery budget is blown out in three days from ordering out.
8. The bedtime routine is replaced by the Star Wars Saga.
9. The entire house becomes a fort.
10. The man-child can now make fart noise on cue, and throw a ball down the hall.

I could actually go on and on with this list.  But basically FTD and the boy had the best weekend of their lives doing what ever they wanted, playing like wild boys, eating like wild boys and sleeping like… well… I am still not sue if they slept, but at one point I did find them asleep on the floor…

This was at 3am.
I wonder if they were telling each other their hopes and dreams before they passed out?


My friends and faithful readers, I pray you do not experience a similar illness, but should you be so unlucky, take it from me, be prepared!  Have a sick box ready to go with aloe tissues, medicine, a humidifier and chapstick. In fact, prepare a sick box for the whole family, be prepared this winter.  I also dare say you make a few meals and freeze them, or you too will be dinning on the whim of your wild ones.

Winter.  'Tis the season for colds, flus, and wild ones.



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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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