4/23/18

10 Tips For Hosting A Child's Birthday In Your Home

Hosting a child's birthday in your home may seem like an easy and relatively inexpensive undertaking. Think again. Shit can get crazy fast. I've learned this the hard way, a few times. Below are 10 Tips For Hosting A Child's Birthday In Your Home 


1. Make a birthday party food room. If you are going to host a child's party at your house, start with prepping your house for maximum destruction. Most of all,  Strive to keep ALL FOOD in one area, and prep the hell out of that area. Seriously, cover the floor if possible. Think, Dexter Kill Room. You might think I am kidding... I am not! Cookies, cake, and chips crumble EVERYWHERE!
2. Only invite enough kids to fill a police line-up.  Actually, maybe only half of a line-up.  There is NO reason to invite the whole freaking neighborhood and class! Especially because many parents will drop their child and run like hell. TIP: Think about how many kids you think you can manage, then invite HALF that number. 

3. Hide the good toys.  There is no, "You break, you buy," at a child's birthday party.  It's more like, "Leave out, you cry." 'Nuff said. 

4. Have a clear idea of activities.  A three-hour free-for-all will not go over very well on your sanity. Plan activities like party games, arts, and crafts, make the hubs dress up as a clown, learn how to make balloon animals... 


5. Serve Sugar-Free Food. You are dealing with kids. Sugar is BAD! BAD! BAD! Fruits and veggies are GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! Think: Gremlins



6. Give out cups with lids. Go to the 'everything is a dollar' store and spring for a few cups with lids and straws.  Then write a kid's name on it and maybe even throw a sticker or two on it for some fancy fun. DO NOT screw this up, these cups will be GOLD!  

7. Have a separate cake for the birthday boy/girl. OK, Maybe this is just my kid... so if you are a gambler then go ahead and skip this lesson, but before you go, allow me to tell you a little story...

Picture it: The lights are low.  The excitement in the room is bubbling over.  The cameras are ready to go off in a seconds notice.  Mommy (me) turns the corner with a cake lit up like a Christmas tree.  Haaappppyyy Birthday Tooo Youuu... (Fast Forward) YAY!  Blow out the candles... Candles are out.  Before I can even make a move, this happens...

So, let me ask you this again...
Are you a gambler?


8. DO NOT OVER DO IT. My biggest regret from Ollie's birthday party was not slowing down to actually enjoy the party. I was so concerned with keeping things in order, food on the table, the cake and cookies off the floor, and staying on track...  FAIL!  


Take time to stop and look around. To watch your child having a blast on his day.  To stand by your partner in parenting crime and say happy birthday to each other.  This day is for you too, don't waste it sweating and stressing!

9. Throw the party away. love the dollar store when it comes to throwing parties...AWAY! While you are there buying cups with lids and straws, for ten bucks you can buy all you need to decorate like a Boss too! Including, TWO massive cheap plastic tablecloths.  Get one for the table and one to cover the floor underneath it.  Then buy as much paper and plastic crap bowls and serving trays as possible, so when the party is over all you have to do is remove the things you do not want to throw away from the table, then take each corner, tie them together and drag that shit to the garbage!  Then, sweep all the crap onto the tablecloth underneath the table, then throw it away!  This made clean up a Breeze.   Do. This. 

10Save your pennies in a jar labeledBIRTHDAY, so next year you can pay someone to host the party. Now, I totally get why people pay the big bucks to host their child's birthday party at a venue. After you spend the money on decorations, food and post party therapy, you might as well just pay someone! You get in and out, no lingering friends or family to throw out of your house, no carpet cleaner to pay for getting cake, chocolate milk, and gummy bears out of the carpet, no toys to stash and then get back out... Yes, we will definitely be saving our pennies for next year!





April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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