8/28/17

I get it. I hated kindergarten, too. It's scary.




The days leading up to my son starting kindergarten, he was so excited. He was going to, "get to ride the bus with the big kids in our neighborhood." He was going to, "get to go to the big school with all of his cousins and friends.  
Even on the morning of the first day, he was visibly more excited than scared. Of course, I could see the fear in his eyes but it was still overshadowed by his excitement. I was so proud of my little man.


I, on the other hand, was worried AF about how he would like it if he would have fun, miss me, need me... My girlfriends who had already been through the kindergarten-mania insisted he was having the best time. I held fast to this hope while still counting the minutes until I could hold him. 

When the bus arrived my heart was jumping out of my chest, I couldn't wait to hold my little pumpkin! He clung to the rail while descending the stairs of the bus, then practically jumped off to my arms. I scooped him up and held him tight and asked him how his day was. He said, awful, mommy, then jumped out of my arms and ran down the sidewalk about four houses, then ran back. He repeated it four times before running up the walkway to our house. 

Later that night, he told me school was awful because his teacher yells at the children and the day is "way too long." My heart broke knowing there was nothing I could do but send him back in the morning.

The rest of the week was exactly the same. He climbs off the bus, jumps in my arms, then after hugs and kisses jump out of my arms to run four or five laps up and down the sidewalk. After the second day, he started having mini-meltdowns or asshole-attitude outburst after his sidewalk jaunt. This always lasted for about an hour followed by an apology while climbing in my lap.

By the end of week two, I was prepared for his after school routine I started to think his running up and down the sidewalk must have something to do with all the energy he has to suppress trying to be a good boy all day. 

He's on his third week of school and has yet to admit he likes it. He always tells me how his teacher yells at the kids, the music teacher scares him, and then last Friday, the bus driver yelled at some kids to sit down and now Ollie is no longer a fan of, Mr. John.

I get it. I hated kindergarten too. It's scary. You're away from mommy and daddy all day, you have to listen to these strangers who yell sometimes and then there's the 5-year-old fear that if you don't be good, you're going to go to the dungeon and be locked up.

As much as I want to pull him out of school and hold him close to me all day long, school is so important. We both have to push through this adjustment period. The education, life lessons, social skills, and routine are crucial, and not something I can provide very well at home. (I'm talking about ME, not you homeschool mom/dad, you're amazing.)  Plus, I keep telling myself, if he really hated it, he would put up more of a protest in the morning. My kid is a stubborn mule, if he really truly hated kindergarten, he would let me know.

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