Are You And Your Partner A Cohesive Team?

March 09, 2016 April McCormick 0 Comments

Photo Credit: My toddler



There's no two ways about it, Co-Parenitng Requires a Cohesive team. 


Unfortunately, in the beginning, I thought a cohesive team meant my husband understanding my ideas, plans, and goals. Then, implement them according to my specifications. I'm the mother, I have the God given gift of Mothers Instinct! No way could he know better than me? 

To my horror, my husband didn't agree. He had his own plans and ideas, and every intention of implementing them as well. To add insult to injury, his ideas were born of a different culture. His Australian ways versus my American ways, led to many a disagreement.

Needless to say, the first couple months of our son’s life were not met with a cohesive  parenting team. Quite the opposite. 

Nothing would frustrate me more than when he would question me, or try to tell me how to do something with our son. 

Yes, I was doing the same to him, but I felt completely justified. I was the one with the all-important mother’s instinct! 

By the second month of my son’s life, between the fear, anxiety and nursing around the clock, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I needed a break from trying to be a do-it-all super mom. I started to slowly, albeit reluctantly, let my husband implement some of his own ideas and plans. 

After about a week or two of letting the hubs do his thing, I started to see the clear difference between my methods and his, and how they both worked.

 I was very soft and wouldn’t let Oliver shed a tear. I’d jump at the first whimper. I lived according to the hours and minutes of the day, to keep the ever important 'routine' going. 

The man didn’t care about the routine. He wanted to play and laugh and be silly with our son all day.  

It didn't take long to realize, not all of my ways were the best. Maybe I needed to relax a little and let dad do his thing. Unquestioned.

We parent very differently, and that’s a really good thing. Plus, sharing the work has helped me realize he's better at a lot of things, and it makes him a very proud papa to show me.  

We have a very long and winding road of parenting ahead of us. Knowing we can depend on each other and share the ups and downs equally, is the key to making that road as smooth and enjoyable as possible. 

A quick note: To the single parents out there doing the job of two, being a team of one, well done. Your job is is not an easy one.  


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