Concerned for my sanity, I called y sister, mother of two boys. I whined about how I was sure the two were going to kill me. I asked her how she survives the Christmas holidays with her marbles. She told me the key is to be confident.
She said, "Repeat after me, I'm a confident Mother. Now, own it."
She told me that I had to get my balls out of my purse, and own the break. If I had any hope of surviving past Christmas with Ollie and FTD running wild, I need to gain control before I lose it. Which, I know I would lose control because those two are the equivalent of 44 people.
Before bed, I thought more about what it meant to be a confident mom, and how I wasn't a very confident mother. 'No' doesn't always mean, 'no'. Sometimes it means:
- Mommy is too lazy to get up, so please stop.
- Mommy is going to lose her shit! Don't you care?
- FINE! Just go away!
- Shit. Really? HOW ARE YOU MY KID? (Oh, wait, Karma.)
- Helllooooo, Mommy said, NO! Not, Please keep hitting me in the head with Mr. Penguin.
- DUDE! I've said no one-hundred times, please listen.
You get the idea.
Clearly, my poor confidence mixed with my laziness, pretty much sends my toddler the message that mommy is a spineless meatloaf.
Well. NO MORE!
I'm a confident mom!
'No!' Means 'No!' Bitches!
Two nights ago, I told Ollie if he threw one more toy, he was going right to the bath then bed.
The little shit threw his toy.
Calmly, I said to myself, I'm a confident mom, then got off the couch told him he was naughty for not listnen, and was going right to the bath then bed. Then. carried him upstairs... kicking and screaming. But now that I'm a confident mom, it didn't phase me.
I make the damn rules.
ATTENTION OLLIE AND FTD, I MAKE THE RULES!!!
As you can see, I'm also a confident wife now too...
My friends, I am really changing the way I parent thanks to my newfound confidence. I say no, and enforce it. I say bedtime and enforce it. I say eat... no wait that's a bad example...
I say, stop it, and dammit he stops! It only took three days of being a no nonsense boss mom to get him to recognize who's in charge!
And get this...
Not one time did I yell or lose my shit!
I calmly tell him what I want, and then tell him what the consequence will be if he doesn't stop/listen.
Then, if he doesn't listen, in a super calm way, I enforce that shit when he fails to heed my warning.
Three days later, he's heeding my warning.
I didn't get frustrated or have to raise my voice once!
I love that every time I say it, I believe it more.
I love that I learned this now, instead of during his teenage years. (Hopefully by then, all it will take is a look.)
My friends, if you to fail at enforcing the rules, and/or let your kid rule the roost, I cannot recommend enough you say out loud, I'm a confident mother/father, then own it.
Then say it again to yourself right before you (calmly) lay down the law.