Who Knew This Whole Married With Children Thing Would Be So Damn Hard?Most all of you know the story of how FTD and I met, (if not you can read it here.) It was a true fairy tale. Love at first sight. Fire in my heart and soul the minute our eyes met. To this very day, when he kisses me, my heart skips a beat. When he holds me close, all of my fears and anxieties melt away. It's truly magic.
It's not all unicorns and rainbows. We still have our disagreements. Our fights. Nights on the couch. Silent treatments... FOR DAYS.
And since having a child... those disagreements, have increased by a GAZILLION.
Somebody once told me, "Not even an affair will test a marriage like a child." I have no doubt they were right.
Between the stress, fear, uncertainty, anxiety and different ideas for raising our child, it's been rough at times. To say the least!
The first few months of our son's life were the hardest. We were terrified and worn-ass-out new parents. Thankfully, I had plenty of friends who had already walked in our shoes, and every single one promised the fighting was normal, and would get better.
They were right. But it took a little while.
And when I say a little while, I mean three years and counting...
While we still bicker over bath time and who gets to deal with the toddler tantrum, we have found a good groove for co-parenting a wild ass toddler. Which, has helped to reduce the nights on the couch tremendously.
The one area we are still failing miserably at is date nights. FTD and I have only been out without Ollie THREE times in three years. This is such a fail. We are currently looking for a babysitter we can trust, because we know how important that time away is to reconnect.
For now, every night after Ollie goes to sleep, we go outside and sit on the porch and talk. Every night. This has been HUGE for us. We get away from our computers and TV, leave the phones inside, and just sit and talk about our day. We laugh and joke and cuddle to stay warm. Sometimes we walk around the front or back and look at our garden, or make plans for the summer. I look forward to this time everyday. It's my favorite.
If you too are dealing with the ups and downs of parenting and marriage woes, just know it does seem to get better/easier as the child gets older. Marriage takes work, and marriage with kids takes extra work. Make time for each other daily to reconnect and be present in each other's life. I really cannot recommend it enough. It makes a world of difference.
How do you reconnect?