I miss the days when I was a perfect mother with a perfect child... you know, when I was childless and still swimming in self-righteous parenting ignorance. I'm pretty sure the saying, "Never say never.", came from parents saying it to non-parents. So far, almost all of my pre-parent, I will nevers... I have done. Here are 10 of my top "Nevers" that I do and say on a regular basis...
1. I will never let my kid do that in public! Run through the store; have a meltdown; make a huge mess; talk back... All. the. time.
2. I will never say all of the stupid things my mom said to me! I say it all, daily... "Don't make me turn this car around!" "You can sit there all night until you eat your veggies!" "Do you want something to cry about?" <---- I thought that was the all time stupidest thing my mom ever said! I WAS crying, clearly I HAD something to cry about! Now that I'm a mom... yeah, the shit kids cry about... now that's stupid!
3. I will never give my kid choices. It's my way, I am the mother. HAHAHA! What a load of crap! Choices make the toddler world go round. They need to feel like they have some sort of control of the situation. That's how it's done!
5. My kid will watch no more than 30-minutes of TV a day. "Ollie, Micky Mouse is on!" ...for the third time today. I need 5 minutes to recompose my shit, or clean up his... TV is gold.
6. I will never give my child my phone... "Ollie! Here, play with mommy's phone." How else am I supposed to make it through the store, or waiting room, or talk to a friend in public?
7. I will never lie to my child. "Ollie if do this, we will go get a... go to... you can..." Not that I have any intention of following through... whatever it takes. Whatever. It. Takes. (I do try to limit this to as needed, since I need it to work forever...)
8. My child's bedtime will never be like that... he will go to sleep easily, we will read books and snuggle. Pretty much, every night I say, "OLLIE!!!! GO TO SLEEP BEFORE MOMMY LOSES IT!!!" I use to think my sister was terrible for yelling at her boys and threatening them with everything under the sun to get them to go to sleep. I couldn't understand why she didn't just read and cuddle them to sleep. Bedtime is from hell... that's why.
9. My child will never be spoiled with mounds of toys he never plays with. Ollie is the fourth of 5 boys between my brother, sister and I. Between the hand-me-downs, FTD buying out garage sales, birthdays and holidays... I just gave away three boxes of toys and it still looks like Toys 'R US blew up in my house.
|This is just the living room. |
There is also the basement and his room...
and the front porch and back yard...
and the floor and backseat of my car...
10. I will never be like that mom, and my kid will never be like that kid. Somedays, we are worse.
What are your nevers? Every parent has one... hundred.