6/2/14

Please Stop Saying The Terrible Twos Are Nothing Compared To Three and Four! #IgnoranceIsBliss

There is nothing worse than when my kid is acting up, and some stranger says, "Is he two?  ...Just wait, that's nothing compared to three and four." Really? That's making the situation better how?

How can someone think saying that will make me feel better? There is only one word for that: Dumbassery.

If a two-year-old's psycho behavior is really nothing compared to a three or four-year-old's, then why is not called the Terrible Threes or Ferocious Fours? Is this something new? Are kids today stringing the terribles out?

My kid is only two years and four months old. That's 8 month's left of twos and then TWO MORE years through three and four...  I'm here to tell you, my sanity hinges on the fact that the 'terrible two' phase is going to pass. I cling tight to my belief that my kid is going to become this fabulous semi well-behaved badass on his third birthday. I can't fathom the idea that my toddler is going to become progressively more ill-behaved. In fact, I REFUSE to believe that I'm going to have a 24/7/365 assholio toddler for the next thirty-two months!

No.

Nope.

Not. My. Kid!


Of course I know on Ollie's third birthday he is not going to wake up at 9am, make himself a breakfast and remember to say please and thank you while happily holding my hand through a day of errands.

HOWEVER.

I do think that somewhere between now and then, he will calm down a little. And by a little, I mean stop throwing himself on the floor and flopping around like a fish out of water when he doesn't get his way. I also think he will not test every single freaking thing I say, and maybe, just maybe, he will sleep past the ass-crack of dawn... I'd be happy with a consistent 7:30-8am.

You see, I have to believe in these things. I NEED to believe in these things.

To resign myself to the belief that my kid is going to be a screaming tantrum throwing, boundary testing rooster for the next three years might kill me. Plus, kids don't stay the same, especially toddlers. Those little shits are constantly changing, growing and learning. No way can they maintain constant horrifying behaviors for three solid years.  People would stop having multiple kids if that were the case. Right?

Sure, I can imagine how the increased vocabulary might pose a problem, with him being able to really tell me what he wants and thinks...


I can also imagine how his fearlessness and increased mobility and strength may cause many more heart attacks for me and falls for him, however, I just don't want to waste my time worrying about that right now.

I want to think about how two is going to get better. How the hitting, throwing, screaming, tantrums and boundary testing are just a phase that he will grow out of, and soon! I have no doubt he will take on new horrifying behaviors, but I don't want to think about them right now.  I want to focus on the horrifying behaviors he has today, and how I am going to put an end to them.

I want to look forward to three and four with excitement, not fear. As it is, I can't help but look fondly to those ages. My little guy will be talking more, able to start group sports, be even more fun to play with and talk to, and most of all, out of diapers. (Dear God, Please let that be the case.)

I'm all for sharing parenting tips and stories--clearly, I'm a mommy blogger-- but scaring people who are already in a shitty situation with a screaming kid by telling them it gets WORSE... yeah, that's not cool! So if you are one of those people who tell parents of two year-old it gets worse not better... STOP IT!

We need encouragement, not more fear!




In addition to being the founder of First Time Mom and Dad, April is an award-winning published writer. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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