6/18/14

Epic Fail: One Of The Biggest Mistakes I've Made As A Parent...

Lately, when I look at my son, I see more boy than baby. Needless to say, this makes me so very sad. He is growing up way too fast! I want to somehow figure out how to it all down. Unfortunately, this was not always the case. Starting the first few weeks of my son's life, I started wishing for milestones he was nowhere near meeting. I dreamt of the days he was walking, or talking, or a fully weaned baby that would sleep through night. Now that he is, I wish he was still that cuddly little sweet baby that would stay where I left him, let me hold him as long as I wanted, and didn't run away from me in the grocery store screaming, CAN'T CATCH ME, MOMMY!!!



Wishing for milestones is probably one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make. I know this because it's one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. My baby was perfect and wonderful just as he was at every stage of his life. The time I spent wishing for him to be more than he was, wasted precious moments that I wish I had back now.

Parents hear all of the time, "It goes by so fast, cherish every moment." It doesn't take long to know how true that statement is. So then, why do we push our kids? Why do we wean them on to solids too soon? Or wean them from nursing too soon? Or worse, spend hours freaking out because our child did not meet a specific milestone the day the parenting books said they would. I think I know why, because we all want our kid to be the best. We push them to be the best they can be, even if they are not ready to meet our (unrealistic) expectations.

Something FTD and I have been struggling with recently is whether or not to move Ollie into a toddler bed.  I do not want to do it. FTD, is all about it. He wants to move Ollie into a Toddler Bed ASAP.  Being that we just moved, I think now is certainly NOT the right time.  FTD says that I couldn't know that until we try. Well, I don't want to try!  I want to let Ollie sleep in the comfort of his crib as long as he wants.  It's his bed. His space. And he can hold on to that as long as he wants!

So who is right? Who knows.

What I do know is that Ollie will be in a big boy bed eventually. He will not stay in a crib for the rest of his life. Just like with the milestones he has already met, some he met early, some late, some on time, but all he eventually met. Pushing him to meet milestones he is not ready for will not make things easier.  In some cases, pushing him only made things harder.

Pushing too hard always results in the same thing for both of us, frustration.

In a way, he decided when he would meet all of his milestones. As much as I tried to will him to sleep through the night, he didn't do it until he was ready.  He also crawled, walked and said his first words when he was ready. Sure, I encouraged him, and gave him the tools and toys to help him along in meeting his milestones, but ultimately, he took those first steps not a day before he was ready.  

Being a parent is so incredibly hard sometimes... a lot of the time. It's our job as parents to encourage and push our children to be the best they can be. That being said, pushing or wanting a child to be or do something before they are ready just because you want it, is most likely always going to end in failure, frustration and/or regret for both of you.

Learn from me... Don't waste your precious time with your child wanting them to be anything more than what they already are, your perfect little blessing.


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. In addition to being the founder of First Time Mom and Dad, April is an award-winning published writer. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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