3/5/14

This Whole Parenting Thing... Wow. Amazing.

Being a parent is AMAZING.  Absolutely amazing.  But... honestly, for me, it was not always like that...

This morning when the wild child crawled into bed with me, and fell right to sleep in my arms, I couldn't help but marvel at the amazing rush of love I feel when I hold him close. I also couldn't help but look back at the journey to this moment. This moment of bliss holding my amazing son...

                                               
I really had no clue what to expect when I became a mother. Prior to having my son, I was the proud aunt of three super sweet boys. One of which was like a son to me. Only, I got to bring him home when I was tired and ready for some peace and quiet. So when I had my own son, I had no idea how hard it would be.  How when I was tired and needed peace and quiet, it did not come so readily.  Parenting is 24/7 365,  and no way was I prepared for that commitment, sacrifice, selflessness.  Thankfully, being a parent also came with this unimaginable overwhelming love that I can phisically feel in my heart.

No doubt, the first six weeks of motherhood were so crazy. I look back and the first word that comes to my mind is, Haze. There is this hazy crazy fog of sleeplessness I associate with it.  In fact, I really do not remember sleeping more than a couple of hours at a time, as in TWO. What I also remember is the overwhelming fear.  Fear that SIDS (cot death) would come and steal my baby in the night.  Or that I would not be a good mom.  Or that I was not providing enough nourishment for my son on my own, and he was starving.  I think I weighed him nearly every other day! Yep, the first six weeks were anything but blissful and easy.

Thankfully, the first six months rounded out nicely.  As my perfect ball of fat baby grew out of the slug phase and began smiling, giggling, crawling, and eating solids, things got so much better. I was even beginning to think I had this whole mother thing under control. My son was fun, thriving and while the little guy was not sleeping through the night, I was getting more than two hours of sleep at a time.

As the next year and a half progressed, Ollie, FTD and I found our way.  Time somehow felt like it began to speed up around that sixth month point as well.  Ollie was meeting his milestones, and becoming a little boy with the greatest personality... (READ: FTD was turning him into a super funny and animated little guy.)
                                   

Along the way, I have had really bad days, and of course amazing days.  I have learned to not be so hard on myself when I fail, or have a bad day.  Granted, it took me 18-months to finally stop beating myself up for mistakes or having a bad days. I guess I just got to the point where I realized, if I had a day where I was not 100% 'on' and playing with Ollie, he would survive and forgive me, most likely not even notice.  Or when I have to be a tough when he is naughty, it's for the best.

There is so much give and take to parenting.  It's a roller coaster ride.  Full Stop.  

Sometimes it's an uphill battle. Sometimes its downhill smooth sailing with lots of laughter. But, always, it's FAST!  The days fly by.  The choices come quickly.  The milestones come and go. The moods are up and down.  (For both of us!)  Most of all, the love is the most wonderful rush of adrenaline.  When I hold my son close, the love and emotion that surges through my body is the absolute most profound and wonderful feeling.  I have felt it since the first few weeks of parenting, and my God, it's just... AMAZING!

I am so grateful to have this blessing of parenthood.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and animated little guy to call my son.  Yes, this parenting business is still hard, and frustrating, and certainly sometimes leaves me dreaming of a secluded island I can run away to... But. I would not trade this amazing journey of love, life and blessings for anything.

                                                     


Happy Wednesday my friends! ❤️



P.s. If you are looking for a Childcare provider, check out my article published on Parenting.com today, "10 Important Questions To Ask Your Childcare Provider."

April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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