2/28/14

I Confess, We Are Screwing Our Kid Up One Mispronounced Word At A Time...

It's finally happened, Ollie has mispronounced a word in such a way it's coming out a 'bad' word. And.. it's funny! So funny that I never miss a chance to get him to say it, and neither does FTD.  I know what you are thinking, it's Truck, or Duck, or Clock. NOPE!  It's something I never would have guessed. In fact, if Ollie didn't break out a visual while yelling the word, I would have been convinced he was actually calling me a, BITCH!
Hmmm... Or was he...
Cheeky little bugger.
Everyday when FTD comes home from work, he changes and then gets on the floor to play with Ollie by making a car or choo choo track. I take that time to relax and/or catch up on emails. All of the sudden, Ollie walks over from the floor to me sitting on the couch and says (with heaps of excitement), Hey Bitch! I was shocked into silence.  Surely, FTD would not teach him to say such a thing to me?  When the shock finally wore off, I mustered a, What? Again, Ollie shouts, BITCH!, then points back at FTD.  I look at FTD who is in hysterics!  I mean whole body shaking laughter.  I couldn't control myself, I started laughing hysterically too.  Now, I'm laughing, FTD is laughing and Ollie is pointing at FTD and yelling, BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!

OH. MAH. GAWD!  Beyond funny.

The mother inside finally overrides my child inside, and tells FTD in-between fits of laughter, that we are terrible!  We should not be laughing and encouraging this bad behavior.  Even if Ollie is calling FTD a Bitch, and it's the funniest thing he has ever said or done.  Toddlers do not use the word Bitch!

FTD, finally stops laughing long enough to call Ollie over.  Ollie runs over the FTD and pulls a Thomas The Tank Train bridge out from behind FTD's back.  He runs it back to me and yells, BITCH!

Dear God... he is trying to say, Bridge.

I look at him and say, OHBRIDGE. He yells back with excitement, Yeah, BITCH!

This could go terribly wrong for us if presented with a bridge in a crowd with Ollie.

I told FTD we were still terrible and needed to not encourage the wrong enunciation of words either.  FTD, said, Oh Balls, and walked off.  He maintains that this is one of the best parts about having a toddler. Ollie can yell Bitch-Ass-Shit and get away with it.  because really he is saying, Bridge and Ship. I had no choice but to agree. It's funny, and we are going to love it while it lasts.

As some of you know, I turned to my Facebook community of AWESOME! to tell about the Bridge/Bitch episode.  And as usual, my AWESOME community fired back with their own stories and confessions of laughing at poorly pronounced Trucks, Ships and Clocks. I even had a good friend of mine send me video of her son saying, 'Cock', instead of clock.  I bet I watched it two or three times, before calling FTD over to watch it a few more times with me.  It's funny, I cannot help it!

This is the time when toddlers will say the damnedest things! And dammit, it's FUNNY! 

Of course we will not encourage bad words when he says them on purpose, but the clocks, trucks and bridges coming out a little skewed... since all we can do about it is laugh, we might as freaking well!

What's your toddler saying?

In addition to being the founder of First Time Mom and Dad, April is an award-winning published writer. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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