2/14/14

YAY!! It's Here!!! Potty Training Time!!!

Ollie just pooped in the potty!!!
He really did it! Wanna see? Just kidding. Do you really think I would post a photo of Ollie's first dump in the dunny? No. Of course not. That would be gross! Well... Unless you want me too... Because I did take a picture for his baby book. You know, so I could show his first few girlfriends. Kidding... or not. 
 (Ok, I didn't but I plan to tell him I did to keep him from dating until he is in college.)


This is a photo of FTD's Dunny.
Seriously.
It used to be the outhouse at his holiday house in Australia...
until his brother ripped it down.
Actually, I think he burned it to the ground.
NO, I never had to use it, there was a very nice working one IN the house.
THANK GOD!
And double Thank God Ollie's first Dunny dump did not have to be in one of those!


My friends, at 4:44pm on February 13, 2014, Ollie crapped in the can. Oh what a joyous moment that was. Unfortunately, all the moments leading up to that crap were not so joyous.  

Oh. No. 

Not so joyous at all. 

Allow me to start from the beginning...

Right before Ollie's first birthday, FTD's mother told us that FTD was using the potty by his first birthday. Naturally, I wanted to rip her face off for saying that, because now the pressure was on. FTD was sure if he was crapping in the can by the ripe age of one, then his son should too. So, for Ollie's birthday, FTD ran right out and bought him a little potty.  A soccer ball potty to be exact...




When Ollie would have nothing to do with it, we eventually put it away. Thankfully too, because quite a few of you pointed out that Ollie may spend his life peeing and pooping on soccer balls, and I certainly didn't want that!

About three weeks ago, Ollie walked up to me and said, "poo poo."  While I was caught a little off guard by it, I thought he was just repeating words FTD taught him. Then, a few minutes later I look over, and there he is... filling his diaper.  Well, holy shit he WAS trying to tell me something!

Sure enough, the next day he does the same thing; he says, poo poo, and does it. Being the smart little cookie that I am, I was ready on day three. When he said poo poo, I took him to the toilet, sat him on it ready for the magic to happen... Nothing happened.  

When he got annoyed and wanted down (four seconds after being put on the pot), I let him down. From everything I have read and been told, I knew I was NOT to piss him off about pissing.  So, I just kept offering him the potty, and chasing him and his naked but around waiting for cues.  I finally gave in and put his diaper back on. Two minutes later he pooped.  

The next few days played out the same. Not wanting to lose the momentum of him talking about pooping, I decided I would get the soccer ball, put it in the living room and let him diaper off free-ball it to be ready when the cues came. Long story short, he peed all over everything! Then, one day he pooped on the floor.  I saw him doing it and screamed out, NO! Much to my horror, he took off running mid-poop, but not before... running through a pile he already dropped. Sweet Geezuz of shitty foot prints. I thought I would DIE! I kind of wanted to when faced with cleaning it up. 

Needless to say, the poop-prints taught me a lesson. NO MORE FREE-BALLING IN THE HOUSE! 

The next two weeks were all about offering up the potty, then taking him in there. Diaper off... Diaper on... Diaper off...Diaper on... repeat one hundred times.

He didn't always tell me when he had to poop, but he was still announcing it from time to time. And slowly but surely, I was learning to be prepared. We bought the super cool toilet seat and a stool to climb on.  I also learned that before going into the bathroom after a, "poo poo." declaration, I would bring my phone so I could put on YouTube to keep him sitting. 


I LOVE THIS THING! $44 at hardware store.


That's when it happened... the declaration came, I ripped off his diaper, grabbed my phone and off the potty we went! I sat him down, turned on Mickey and waited... Nothing.  Two minutes later he was down. Off he went free-balling down the hall.  I yelled for FTD to corral him back. This on-the-pot, off-the-pot, went on for about five minutes. Then he came back into the bathroom, got on the potty, and sat there for a few seconds then got off and stood in front of me. Next thing I know he started to let the beast free. That's right, he was starting to crap standing in front of me and the toilet! I picked him up, sat him on the pot and he kept going!  The poops came out, and so did my screams!!  FTD! FTD! FTD!!  HE IS POOPING IN THE POTTY!!!  

FTD comes running, Ollie is in shock, I am holding him still on the potty while singing yelling Ollie's pooping praises!  FTD joins in. Ollie is shocked and excited. I tell FTD to go get the chocolate while I help Ollie down.  FTD comes back with the chocolate M&Ms... we shower him with praise and M&Ms, do the potty dance and scream some more.  Such a joyous occasion!!

Will he do it again tomorrow?  Who the hell knows?  I am keeping my expectations low. Especially because he didn't exactly start the crap sitting on the pot. Still, it is a start. My boy pooped in the potty and I am super proud. While I know this whole potty training thing is a long road, one I expect to write many posts over, it beats the hell out of diapers 24/7 for another year or so.  Plus, I just witnessed the beauty of not having to change a loaded diaper. I am motivated to keep that up! 

Now we just have to motivate Ollie to keep it up too... 





Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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