Dec 4, 2014

10 Things You Can Not Fully Understand Until You Become A Parent...

I've been inspired by a few memes I came across this past week... They all seemed to have one thing in common, truths about parenting... Truths I never ever would have guessed.  You know, pre-baby when the idea of motherhood was as bright and exciting as rainbows and unicorns... When I was sure I would have a perfect wonderful well-behaved child because I already knew everything...

1. Silence is definitely Golden...
(Except when children are around, 
then silence is very suspicious. VERY. Suspicious.) 



2. My parents were so lucky that, "If you do not start behaving you can go sit in the car!" was actually an option.



3. It is possible to not puke, when puked on.


4. When someone says to you, "I Hope You Step On A Lego!" it's really the nice way of saying, I hope on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night you step on a tiny piece of plastic that will send so much excruciating pain through your foot that you pee on yourself, asshole.


5. The Flu Shot is necessary... not that you get it.  But thank God the little germ factory does. 

6. Everything you swore you would never do as a parent, you do.


7. It's actually not hard to get out smarted by a fifth grader, or really a toddler for that matter.


8. Children take exhaustion to a whole new level.


9. There is a special place in hell for the toy manufacturers that make toys with annoying sounds, and the relatives that buy them for your child.

10. Karma really is a Bitch. 





What do you now fully understand since becoming a parent? 


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Disclaimer

My husband and I are clueless first time parents. We are far from childhood development professionals. We cannot and will not be held responsible if you take us seriously, especially because we don't even take ourselves seriously.



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