12/6/13

Listen Up Parents, Don't Let This Take You Out of The Game…#IMPORTANT!

Mom. Dad. Is your partner in parenting crime sick?  Yes. SUCKS TO BE THEM!  Go put their ass in bed before reading another sentence.

Are you a single parent and are sick? Yes.  SUCKS TO BE YOU! Call for help. MAYDAY someone, then go put your own ass in bed.

OK. Everyone who should be in bed, in bed? Yes. Then, let's get started.

Being sick sucks. We all know that.  Well, since I have been freakishly healthy for the past two years, I forgot how debilitating it can be to be sick, but now I know. Oh, yes. Now, I know.  I have been sick for nearly two weeks. TWO BLOODY WEEKS! First it was the man-child who was sick, then FTD. Then, once the two of them were better, it hit me like a ton of shitty-sick-bricks.  Some of you know this progression because I have already blogged about it. (HERE) So then, why am I still pissing on about being sick?  I'll tell you why... (and you better listen, because it will save you and your partner in parenting crime a lot of trouble!)


So here is what's up…

I started to feel better, so what did I do? I got up and made myself sick again by over doing it. You know, like most parents do! I dare say Moms do, but I know there are some rockstar dads out there holding it down too. I digress…  I screwed up. I screwed up bad. And let me just warn you, don't screw up too.

From the minute the shitty-sick-bricks originally hit me, I was down for 72 hours. I had an entire day go by without even noticing, possibly even opening my eyes. So, when I felt well enough to emerge from my sick coma, I found the house, child, husband, cat, laundry... damn near everything in disarray. I immediately started cleaning and disinfecting everything.  Within three days, I was back on my apple-bottom again, possibly even sicker than I was before!

Much to FTD's pleasure, I have even lost my voice this time around.  My sister thinks I hate her because I have not called in two days, and my BFF is sure she has done something wrong.  And worst of all, the man-child is on his second weekend in a row rocking out Daddy-style. Which, I realized last weekend just means, Screw the routine, we can do what we want, when we want. Making it official, daddy is WAY more fun than mommy.

As I type this sick as can be, and voiceless, FTD and the man-child are building a snowman and having a blast. I am so super bummed about this. I wanna make a snowman!  If I could turn back time, I would have only done the laundry that was necessary. I would have only wiped down the surfaces in the house with disinfecting wipes.  I would have taken it easy until I felt 100% better, not 58.5% better.

Isn't that what most parents (moms, there I said it) do? We go-go-go until the sickness knocks us on our asses. Then, once the sick coma wears off and we can resume our daily activities, we do. Which is usually WAAAAAAY before we should! I get it, it is hard to just lay in bed when the laundry looks like it may qualify as a mountain range, and the counters become so sticky that you need a spatula to get the things stuck to it off! Well, take it from me, sick for a second weekend in a row… Don't get up dammit! If I would have waited until I felt at least 85-100% better, not 58.5% I may be outside playing in the snow, while a load of laundry is washing, and dinner is crock potting away; not pissing on to you about over doing it after an illness.

My friends, parents, it is cold and flu season, those bastard bugs will make it into your house and eventually into you, let the bastard work it's course before you get up.  You know how friends don't let friends drive drunk, or date a-holes? Well, partners in parenting crime and friends of single parents, don't let partners in parenting crime and single parents get out of bed before they are better!  Seriously.  That's why colds and stomach bugs stay around in one family for so long, we get back in the game too early, knock each other and ourselves back out, and then dare I say, go infect an entire grocery store on Sunday!

If you get nothing else from this blog ever, get this… If you are sick, STAY IN BED!  If your partner in parenting crime is sick, DO NOT let them get up until they are 100% better.  Call for reinforcements if you have to, just let your partner/friend get better the first time around!

Alright, that's all for now, I am going back to sleep.


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April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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