11/30/13

Benefits of Raising Your Child in a Storage Unit


What can be better? You’re happy, yet very tired, new parents! You have a new bundle of joy in your family and she is the center of your world now. Every living, breathing moment you have is dedicated to your new baby and keeping her fed, clean, safe and alive! The task sounds daunting but hey, you’re in it now…no turning back.

Oops…did you forget that a newborn takes up all of your time, money and patience?! Well, have we got a sweet deal for you. We understand you may have forgot to take a new child into account when you were budgeting and with the ongoing recession, it’s understandable to cut back anywhere you can. Many people are downsizing their homes, moving to apartments and even going a step further. Guess what…..Storage units aren’t only for your possessions anymore. That’s right….they are a great way to minimize your yard chores and keep solicitors at bay. But there’s even more. Here are your top 10 benefits of raising your child in a storage unit!



Affordable
Storage units are affordable even for the most budget conscious worriers. You can figure about $250 per month for your storage unit which leaves, in our estimate, hundreds of thousands of dollars per month to spend on clothes, diapers and formula. Yeah, that should cover it.

No Neighbors
Hey, did you know babies cry….a lot? Sorry we had to be the ones to break it to you but it’s true. Good thing you don’t have any neighbors in your storage unit, unlike your apartment. Imagine how awful your days would be if you had to deal with a crying baby and whiny neighbors. Don’t go back to that life, stay in your comfy storage unit.

Space is Premium
Maybe you started living in the storage unit before your baby arrived so you could get used to the new confines or maybe your newborn is taking up more space than you originally thought. Either way, should you need more room, chat up the storage manager. No doubt there is a larger, unused, unit in the facility somewhere. You could even see if the unit next door is available…that way you could be neighbors with your family!

No Need for a Baby Monitor
Living in a storage unit provides close quarters for you and your family. Even in the largest 10 x 30 unit, you are essentially next to your newborn. The smaller the unit, the closer you are. A baby monitor is a waste of time and money in this new space.

Cleaning is a Breeze
As stated above, at most your new home is going to be a 10 x 30 unit which is probably just about the size of the living room in your old house. Now, you will certainly have a good amount of possessions packed into a small space but simply move them out of the unit, hose it down and move it back in. Easy as that. The whole process should take 15 minutes tops! Hooray! More free time!

Won’t Lose Baby Bottles
It is going to be hard to lose anything in the storage unit. You will have plenty of time to clean the unit and since it’s not that big so losing a baby bottle is out of the question.

Quality Family Time
Because you are in such close proximity to each other all day long, you will have loads of quality family time together. You can play with your new baby, have reading time and eat family meals together!

Child Safety
Sharp corners, stairs and outlets are non-existent in the unit. How easy could this be? Why haven’t more parents thought of this genius idea yet? We don’t know either. Should you have a sweet coffee table in your “home” and you need to baby proof it, head on over to the self storage managers office and purchase some of the highest quality bubble wrap they have. This should trim your monthly budget by about $5.86.

Creative Playtime
While you’re over at the manager’s office shelling out your cash for bubble wrap, don’t forget to buy some boxes. What do you need boxes for if all of your stuff is already in storage you ask? Silly question really. How can you build an amazing fort if you don’t have sturdy boxes? If you’re feeling especially sprite, purchase some packing tape too so you can tape boxes and bed sheets together for a fortress of awesome.

Free Live Music
Who needs an IPod when you could have free music from the garage band playing next door! Tell them to crank it up loud when your family wants to jam out in the fort! Tell them to play sweet, soothing, acoustic tunes when your little one wants to take a nap. What a glorious opportunity for you both. Of course they will play whatever you want….just like any other band starting out, they are going to want all the fans they can get. Plus, you can say you have been followers since the beginning!

(Disclaimer: I shouldn’t need to say this but I’m going to anyway. This post is not something which should be taken seriously. It is against the law and extremely unsafe to live in a storage unit, so please refrain from doing so.)


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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