10/21/13

Parents Bullying Parents. NOT OK!

This past weekend I had the extreme pleasure of watching my Toddler Code Of Conduct article go 'viral' on the Huffington Post, and in doing so, made the FRONT PAGE! In fact, the post is still going viral as I type. Currently, it has over twenty-one thousand likes (growing by 5-10 a minute) and nearly ten thousand social media and email shares! You all, on the heels of my What You Do Today, Can Improve All of Your Tomorrows post, this was A. MAZ. ING. See... Dreams DO come true!

I'll admit, while watching the article hit milestones of 15k and 20k likes, I cried tears of joy and awe. Unfortunately, with the excitement also came a few low blows in the form of nasty judgmental comments. I know. I know... when I write something and publish it to the world, I am opening myself up for judgment. Still, when it comes to parents judging and bullying parents, that is never ever OK! 

NEVER. EVER.



First and foremost, the Toddler Code of Conduct post was meant to be pure humor.  I mean, helloooooo, I wrote that one of the codes was to:

 "ALWAYS crap your pants AFTER leaving the house. Your best bet is to clench those cheeks together until you have left your street, and then EXPLODE!!! To achieve Legend status, do this when your parent is in a huge hurry to get somewhere very important."


How can someone honestly think that post was supposed to be taken stone faced seriously with that on the list! Really? No toddler knows how to 'clench those cheeks together until you have left your street!' It may seem like it sometimes, but... no.

As parents we HAVE TO find humor in the insanity of parenthood, or we will go insane! That is what that post was all about, finding the humor in watching our baby turn into a learning growing exploring toddling toddler.  Unfortunately, there were some who failed to see it like that. the following are actual comments left on this post... (and a few of my dream comebacks, but because I am a classy lady... on the Huff... I saved my vent for my own home... that's right welcome to my home, I have something to say too!)



1.     This isn't really the code of all toddlers, just ones never put in line. My mother would have put her foot through my *** if I ever did anything remotely close to anything on this list. My mother is very loving and we get along great, but she knew when to put her foot down and remind me who's in charge. That strategy destroys many of the things on this list.  

--OK, dude. Call your mom, trust me, you were not a saint out of the womb.

2.     When I read this I think that 30% of what you listed was. Just bad behavior. You CAN actually teach your toddler to behave, believe it or not, but it's true.
           
--No Shit! Otherwise, the world would be full of people running around carrying snacks with a load in their pants.

3.     It's not DNA, the behavior the author describes is a total parental failure. Toddlers are perfectly teachable and trainable what parents of polite toddlers all around the world proved. Americans worship their kids too much, allow them to do whatever they want, totally fail to discipline them and the result is the disaster described above. No normal kid in a respectful culture would ever be able to throw food without adult’s reaction of discipline and correction. Americans produce extremely rude kids.   

--EASY KILLER! First of all, it sounds like you need a hug, and then a swift kick in the ass to remove you from your high horse!  My guess is that you do not have any children.  Second, you have never met a 1-2 year old just learning how to walk, hold things and find their way in this big crazy world filled with strict judgmental shits like you.

4.     Thank goodness my kids apparently failed toddler hood. Although #8 sounds very familiar. Mine added the embellishment of sand castles in the litter box. ;-)

--Well then, don't sell your kids short; apparently they were not complete failures!  



5.     (This was in reference to the above comment) Yes. Evidently, my kids’ pole-vaulted from 1 to 4 years old.

--Well-fu*king-done!  Please, tell me how you managed to get your 12 month old kids to only poop when it was convenient for you, or how did you teach them to eat with utensils in a clean and tidy manner, oh, and, PLEASE tell me how you got them to sleep past the ass-crack of dawn... I highly doubt you had (plural) angels who never ever gave you toddler style trouble. 

6.     I have a problem with this blog. It makes it sound like the toddler's "offenses" are intentional and coming from a totally self-aware being. It does make it sound like the toddler is doing all he/she can to frustrate the adults. Unfortunately some parents take it that way and punish their toddlers. But, the truth is that the toddler does not understand the rules of the adult world. They are too young and into exploring their newfound powers to really realize how they inconvenience adults.  

--OK...  you have hit on something here, but unfortunately, you missed the mark! This post is exactly about the fact that Toddlers are unpredictable with a mind of their own.  They break things, make messes, defecate the second the need comes, sleep in funny patters and run around and talk without care or purpose.  Toddlers are wild.  We as parents have to rein them in, teach them right from wrong, because they have no idea what they are doing. But the one thing most all of them have in common, is they come out of the gate exhibiting most all of the behaviors listed in this post to some degree!  

These judgmental pricks clearly either never have been parents of toddlers, or completely forget how difficult it is to be the parent of a toddler, or parent for that matter!  Who the hell are you to judge me and my child from a 500-word post!

I am a great parent.  FABULOUS!  I spend my days teaching my son right from wrong. That's right,  I say NO! and redirect him to something more productive. I also clap while saying well done! when he learns a new task or does something wonderful. There is a grand balancing act to being a good parent with great kids. They do not always come out that way...  So to judge me as a parent over the behavior of my 20 month old is just absurd!

GET OVER YOURSELF! 

Or, PLEASE, tell me how you got your perfect little one year old angel to NOT EVER crap in their diaper at an inconvenient moment, and then scream, cry and barrel roll on the change table of a public restroom while strangers watched.  Or, PLEASE, come over and teach my son not to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn. OH! and while you are over, PLEASE, show me how to teach my kid to use utensils without making a mess, or try new flavors without completely hating them at first!  And for the record, I LOVE that my son is talking all of the time. LOVE IT. Hearing his beautiful little angelic voice is brilliant.  While the walking everywhere is a little annoying, no way do I want to discourage him from learning to be stable on his feet. And yes, he has entitlement issues over things, and will attempt to take, touch, play with, and yes, even smashes things in frustration. But you know what, he is learning about all of the wild and wonderful things in this world, and again NO WAY am I going to discourage him from that! I choose my battles wisely, otherwise I would be waging war all day, and that is not cool!

BTW: Are you perfect?  Do you never get upset, break things accidentally, find yourself ready to start the day at 6am, talk more than you should, or, god forbid, just not be a perfect little angel 24/7?  Yeah, I didn't think so.  

I admit the comments hurt me, because I felt my sweet wonderful articulate intelligent and very talented 20-month old was being judged too. He does not deserve that!  He is brilliant and trying to find his was thorough this world with the help of his very loving and capable parents.  We are doing the best we can, and even attempting to find humor along the way in the not so great moments.  FYI Haters: That is parenting at it's finest hour. 



So, next time before you pass judgment on a mother or father with a less than perfect child, realize you do not know the parent, child or situation, so you have absolutely no grounds to pass judgement, and certainly NO authority to pass that judgment on.  Seriously, the world can do without your arrogant judgements and comments.

SIDE NOTE:  There well over 100 comments on this post so far and most are encouraging, but of course there are the know-it-all hatters pumping in their two cents.  If you would like to read the comments or if you have no idea what post I am talking about, CLICK HERE





Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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