4/29/13

Face plants, scraped knees and tumbles are a good thing? Your advice SUCKS!


Since becoming a mother I have repeatedly heard the statement, "Oh it it will be different with your second child. You will be so much more relaxed".  I believe it, I really do. But is hearing that repeatedly making me parent differently?  Nope.

TOO MANY!!
It's like I have a note on my forehead that says,
"Please, I cannot possibly be a great parent without your advice!"

I will be the first to say that I am over protective and completely neurotic about providing a safe nurturing environment for my first born.  I am a first time mom, isn't that completely par for the course?

OK, here is what's going on...

Yesterday FTD, Ollie and I went to my brother’s oldest son’s 3rd birthday party.  Throughout most of the party FTD and I stayed within arms reach of Oliver.  We stood close by when he wanted to go up and down the stairs, steadied him as he ran, and…well… I admit it, we helicopter parented the whole party.  But Ollie is 15-months old! We are not going to take chances when there are stairs to fall down and big kids running wild through the house and back yard... Oh and might I add, paying no attention to little Ollie tottering about.


My mom, sister and sister in-law kept telling us to chill out and let him fall down the stairs once or fall while running to teach him a lesson.  They kept saying things like, “Oliver has no fear. You need to let him fall down and get hurt to learn boundaries.”   Seriously all three said those words to FTD and I multiple times.  I would either ignore them, or flat out shake may head and disagree.  We DO let him fall down, but in a soft safe environment, not on concrete stairs or with a pack of wild boys who are paying no attention to him.

By the end of the day I was so frustrated with them wanting us to let Oliver run wild, I yelled out, “Look, I am a first time parent, I understand you think you know better than me, but I am not sorry, he is my son and this is just how it is going to be!”  With that statement both my sister and sister in-law agreed that they too were much more over protective with their first. But then added knowing what they know now, they wished they were not as protective with the first.  I ignored them and walked off mumbling how I didn’t care, Ollie was not going to fall down the stairs if I could help it.

HELLO?
See. This falling down is a bad thing.
The brits aren't all... Let her bust her ass.
What's wrong with my family?!

You know, maybe I am too over protective, and should let Ollie fall down, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. Maybe this wrong, and I should let him fall a little more. But the idea of letting my 15-month old fall down the stairs to teach him a lesson is just absurd to me.

If I let Oliver go through with all of his crazy ideas, i.e. climb on the couch and lunge off, he would be in and out of the hospital emergency room weekly.  At some point Child Protective Services would show up looking for the two Asses that call themselves his parents!

OK, maybe I am going too far with this idea of letting him hurt himself, but I am just caught between taking the advice of two parents I do respect (My sister and SIL), and looking after my son to the best of my ability. If I follow my heart and mother’s instinct I would continue on my path of being slightly over protective.  I do let him fall, I know that is important, but letting him do something that could potentially really hurt him is just out of the question.

I am sticking to my instincts on this one. Ollie is too young to be left to hurt himself. I don’t care what the inevitable “anonymous” commenter has to say below.  Oliver can learn by face-planting at daycare, and school, and on someone else’s watch, but not on FTD’s or mine. We plan to talk him through right and wrong, and hope he understands that when we say ‘no’ it is to protect him. 

Ugh.  I hate to start the week with a cranky post! This first time mom thing is so hard!  Do I listen to the mothers who have been there before me or listen to my mother's instinct? I'm stubborn, so of course I want to listen to my heart! But... Is that really best?  ARG!!!  I can't help but stick to my instincts on this one. I know Ollie needs to learn the hard way, but when it comes to things that could potentially hurt him... I am not taking any chances. Full Stop!


                                                                 HAPPY MONDAY!





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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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