The one thing all parents master before their child is a year old...

The Standing Diaper Change...

Where the heck is that little nugget of information in the baby books?  Why didn't anyone tell me that the minute my baby learned to crawl, he would make changing his diaper near impossible? The hours I have wasted thinking I could teach my baby to lie still while I changed his diaper were a complete waste of time.  All I want to know is, why didn't anyone warn me about this, and where is the instruction manual on The Standing Diaper Change?

It took me complaining to my sister and girlfriend (both mothers of two) to find out, we are all chasing our bubs around at diaper change time. All babies refuse to lay still during change time. In fact, my sister insists that soon I will become a professional at the standing diaper change, poo filled ones and all.

The log rolling began a month ago when Oliver started crawling. The minute I laid him down on his back, he would roll to his belly and pop up to all fours. Next he started trying to use the railings of the change table to stand up. Of course I tried to stop him. I would flip him over, repeatedly, but he would just fuss and flip back over. After constant flipping and repeated "nos!", I moved on to Plan B... Distractions.

I tried to put toys in each hand to stop him from gripping the railings to roll over. Instantly he would drop the toys and flip.I tried the change table straps, he would still manage to roll under them. I even tried to put one arm across him to hold him down while I changed him with the other.  Nothing worked. One of my other been-there-done-that friends told me to put him on the floor and use my right leg to hold him down while I change him.  I have not tried this because the minute I try to restrain Ollie he cries. I am a spineless twit and cannot stand the sound of him crying, so restraint is out.

Now I cannot even get him on his butt before he starts flipping.  Oh, and FYI, that flip is ridiculous when there are a bunch of rabbit poop pellets in the diaper. I have gotten poop on my fingers more time than I can count. He refuses to stay down for me no matter what tactic I throw at him. Two points Oliver, zero mommy. As usual...

So, take it from me, your baby will not stay on his back the minute he figures out how to flip. You can try the tie-down straps on your change table, toys, "Nos!", what ever you want. Your only hope... sorry make that option, is to learn how to change your baby standing up. Which, from what I hear you will become good at it eventually.

I may be wrong about having no other option than mastering the art of the stand up diaper change... though I don't think I am. But please, if you know of another option please do share!








Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let him cry!!! It will be less than a minute and he will learn that he can't always do what he wants. You are his mommy, you know best. Stay strong and stop being a pushover!

Shay Grant said...

Ugh, just when things couldn't get any better! LOL
Isaiah is a master flipper, and joint locker (you know, when they go all mummified on you and lock all their joints straight out so you can't bend their legs or arms at all), he thinks it's all a hilarious game and loves to mix them together in a bad-ass combo move. I'm so glad he's not crawling yet, it's bad enough trying to master the side-lying nappy change without having to chase him!
I can't wait until logic and the word 'no' actually have some effect - we know the word 'no' very well now (oops, I know, but seriously, that boy beelines for ANYTHING he knows is out of bounds - the dogs whiskers, the power sockets, the half-empty vodka glass **JOKES**) but the only response I get is a sideways glance, a smirk and a heave-ho lunge away from me.
Makes me think the mastiff isn't half as naughty as I thought he was - at least I'm allowed to squirt him with water when he's a sh*t!

Kitten said...

OMG, just realized from reading this post how lucky I am. I think my husband and I have somehow brought the most docile children ever to exist into being. Nathan and Noelle have both occasionally kicked their feet into the air, but mostly they lay there and look at me trustingly while I change them. (On the other hand, Noelle is still refusing to do a real crawl.)

Jessika said...

I, too, use the leg thing- combined with distraction- mostly the crinkly baby wipe (disposable ones) container, or stupid faces/songs... oh- and not sure if you've had the "Hey I have a weiner!" issue- but that's the other problem- especially when it's a poop-filled diaper... so I have to also block his hands with one arm, trap him with my legs, and that leaves me one arm to change him- ahhhH!

Alissa said...

I laughed out loud reading this and the comments :) James is in the log-roll stage along with locking his knees so that I can't get them out of his clothes. I found that tickling his tummy gets him to unlock his knees but I have not found any good tricks to keep him from log-rolling. We've done the standing diaper change a few times. I out loud stated to my husband last night that "I hate this phase". Why can't they just lay still for 30 seconds!! On top of that... we had our first really bad round of diaper rash this week so we couldn't use wipes... it was a hot mess. If I figure out any tricks I'll let you know.

Suburban Momma said...

Oh, I remember the standing up diaper change!! You master it quite quickly, haha! We've all been there.

Shana Scott said...

Oh you will become a pro at this in no time!! Lil Mister prefers this method to any...it just sucks once they can run because usually they stand still long enough for you to undo the sticky part and then they're off...boys usually leaving a trail of wee behind them!! As for the comment above about diaper rash....two things work great! Cornstarch (in powder form!) throw that on the bum just like powder! And layer it good! Also, rooibos tea leaves mixed with aqueous cream! Makes a nice messy paste and smather it on!

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