10/18/12

Helicopter Parenting... Easy killer, you don't want a sissy do you?

Helicopter Parenting is characterized as a parent that hovers over their child. Thus not fully allowing them to grow, develop and live without their parent's presence and input in nearly every aspect of their life. This is also known as over parenting.


My friends, lately FTD has been the helicopter parent of the century.  This man can hover so low, for so long it's amazing. I get worn out watching him in action... What's got him hovering is his is fear of Oliver bumping his head or getting hurt. he stand behind him constantly spitting out, "No, baby you are going to hurt yourself." or "OLIVER!  No! DANGER!!!" I of course get all over FTD for it, explaining that Ollie needs to grow and learn, the bumps and bruises along the way are necessary evils.  FTD doesn't want to hear me, because he doesn't want to hear Ollie cry.

For those of you who have been reading since the early days, then you know it was FTD who first let Ollie fuss on his belly, when I thought I would die from the sound. It was also FTD that let Oliver balance on his legs for longer than I thought necessary as a little baby.  I was the helicopter parent then.

I have recently come to realize that FTD was fine with the fussing because Oliver was learning without getting hurt.  He could bear the fussing because Ollie was annoyed not in pain.  I couldn't bear the fussing because I felt like it wasn't necessary, since tummy time and standing on his legs for long periods was not crucial...  Ok, so maybe they were and that's why Ollie can crawl and stand and even cruise at 8-months-old, who knows... Still I will jump and hover over unnecessary fussing and crying.  i.e Sleep training.  :p

Anyways...

Now that Oliver is crawling and cruisin' for a brusin,' FTD is beside himself trying to protect his son from pain.  I on the other hand know that Ollie will never walk or gain even the smallest pain thresh hold without letting him figure it all out on his own.  FTD refuses to accept this, and therefore hovers over him.  The main problem is that this Helicopter Parenting, like all forms of over parenting, is keeping Ollie from, well... for lack of a better way to explain it, meet his full potential... or grow.

When Ollie and I are home all day I let him go wild, use the furniture to cruise, climb up the wall, and yes fall down and hit his head.  But, in my defense, letting him go ass wild has helped him learn to climb, cruise and even hit his head without crying.  He even pulled a plastic chair down on himself and didn't cry!  Ok, probably a bad example to share with the world... but still, the little guy is growing up to be a tough little dude, thanks to mommy letting him bang and clang around the house. No thanks to dads hovering abilities.



That's right, why put him in the jumper,
when he can climb all over it when dad's at work...
I have no doubt that FTD and I will continue to trade off being helicopter pilots for a few more years, at least.  Ideally we will eventually trade the overprotective parenting style for a healthy balance that allows our son to be independent and learn things for himself, but still be hands on parents with out being complete freaks.  Some days I don't know which is harder, being the developing child, or the developing parent...



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