Honesty Disclaimer.


I often sit down to write a blog post and get frustrated because I am afraid to say what I am thinking. Sometimes I am so annoyed with something in my day of being a mother I just want to rant all about it, but I chicken out. What's happened to the good old tiredofbeingpregnant.com days when I would say what I really felt, drop bad words like it was my calling, and not give a crap what anyone thought about it?

I miss voicing my opinions about the shitty side of life, being a new mom, and wanting to scream at my husbands face. I don't do it anymore for two reasons...

1. I don't want some crazy ass to take me full on serious, and call Child Protective Services for complaining about being tired of having my son try to chew my nipple off, or so annoyed that I had to wake up 4 times last night to flip Oliver over because he rolled over in his crib to his tummy and it freaked him out. I love my son more than anything! I don't even want to imagine my life with out him. Nor do I want to tempt anyone into testing that.

2. I do not want anyone to think I am not so incredibly over the top thankful for my beautiful son. He is a true miracle and blessing and the absolute reason I live and breathe now.  I love that sweet little boy more than words will ever come close to explaining. I don’t feel like I should, or have the right to complain. 

But I ask my faithful readers, what's the point in writing a blog if I don't say what I truly think and feel? I'm literally asking YOU my "faithful" readers because most of you followed from me
tiredofbeingpregnant.com where I dropped potty words and ranted all day long.  Remember… I would start out most posts with something like "Dammit! Pregnancy is a bitch and a half!" 

I don't cuss for the fun of it, although it is fun sometimes, and no doubt the "f" word makes me laugh almost as much as "beaver" does, I cuss because sometimes that's the only way to express my emotions. Seriously, try to vent your anger and frustration using this phrase. "Oh darn it, that fudging blender died in the aspirin, so I had to purée his dinner by hand." I mean how dumb does that sound? In fact I'm more pissed off trying to find stupid words to express my anger, then just not saying how I feel. 

I used to get comments all the time about how thankful someone was for my honesty, for saying what they didn't have the courage to say. Now I'm the sissy! I'm afraid to come out and say what I think. Boo! 

Or, now that I am a mother, do I not have the right to bitch about it? Am I wrong? Did I miss that rule in the invisible Good Mother's Handbook I never received?

Please don’t think I am ungrateful, or am not aware how it could be worse, or how I am over the top blessed.  But, for Fudge sake, can’t I get pissed every once in a while without getting a comment about how ungrateful I am?  

I am a great loving nurturing mother. I am also, at times, a very frustrated, annoyed, confused and clueless mother and I want to vent about it! I miss expressing myself. So I'm going to try to just be myself again, and let the words I'm thinking and feeling just come out... Like I am doing now.

Of course I will continue to post 90% about parenting, tips, tricks and learning curves, but 10% of the time I’m going to tell it like it is dammit! 


Sincerely, 

April

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Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

25 comments:

Shay Grant said...

Go the honesty for sure!
Besides, I'm sure mummas who vent in blogs or conversations with their friends are the best mummas, 'cause they don't take their frustrations out on their babies!
I've tried using words like 'fudgesicles' and 'popsicles', but they just aren't as satisfying. Check out Urban Dictionary though - they've got some legendary alternatives!!

PS: I did actually have a wee giggle to myself when I read the word 'beaver'. Tehehe. So mature.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Thanks Shay! I agree, I vent I become Mary Freaking Poppins all over again! Beaver. I laugh every time. Yes I am 34. No I am not sorry.

Shay Grant said...

Bahahaahahahahaha you just did it again! I'm so glad Mark is in bed so he can't see me cackling to myself at the laptop - it seems like one of those had to be there things. But seriously... BEAVER! Bahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Anyone who's a parent knows where you are coming from... VENT!!! It helps us get through the day honey. Only parents understand the horrors babies inflict upon their mommies and daddies. Nipples being gnashed, hair being yanked, screaming like a banshee- not because they're hurt, but because they like to see us flinch in pain, poo being flung... I still laugh when my stepmother talks about how she dreamed of returning my little sister to the hospital after she was born because, surely, they had made a mistake. This screaming little nipple biting devil could NOT be HER baby. :-) She's one of the best moms around, so to hear her talk about this has eased my guilt on so many occasions. Just because we rant and complain about the shitty moments does not mean that we don't love our babies. Not one bit! I'd gladly have 23 hours of baby horrors for 1 hour of baby love... as long as I was allowed to vent.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Lol! I used to tell my brother there was a baby mix up! Thank you. I keep think I need to post these venting moments b/c there is no way I'm the only getting but through Baby Bootcamp!

Anonymous said...

Go Ahead momma LET IT OUT!!!! Every once in awhile it feels good to just scream, cuss or even cry!! I say if people don't like what you are saying, then DON'T read it! It also happens to me my policy on shaving legs, I tell my husband if you don't like it don't touch me! :)
P.S. I love reading your blog and have been hooked since last year with tired of being pregnant, we happen to be going to the same baby stages together and its amazing to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same thing and having the same struggles/adventures!

Keep it up Momma!

Jessika said...

Hahaha! Oh please- you know this is the first place I come to vent when I can't say what I want to say on my own blog because everyone I'd be bitching about reads the damn blog... sigh- so please! Shit, fuck, damn, asshole all the way until they're 18- it makes me smile immensely :)

First Time Mom (April) said...

Yeah, my shave policy is about the same... I only shave when I cannot sleep with my own legs in the bed anymore!

Thank you so much for reading and the encouragement. I knew there wasn't an invisable mothers handbook!

First Time Mom (April) said...

LMFAO!! Jess you are the goods!!

Anonymous said...

Yikes!!! I took a much needed nap with my daughter after writing that post only to have a horrible dream!!! I dreamt that we went to the Zoo for a special event and there was free childcare, so we dropped her off and then toured the zoo while enjoying some beer, wine, and food. The event ended and we got in the car and left... only to realize that we LEFT OUR DAUGHTER!!! We rushed back and had to break in to the zoo. We finally found an employee and told them that we were trying to find our baby. They said not to worry, they had her... then brought out the cloth diaper that she had been wearing and asked if it was hers. I said yes and they smiled and said, "Here's your baby!" They handed me a little bundle and, when I pulled back the blanket, it was a baby gorilla?! I was not a happy camper. :-/

First Time Mom (April) said...

Lol. Sorry. I'm sure that was scary! Sometimes I think Ollie is a baby gorilla the way he paws and grunts when we nurse.

Fancy Pants said...

Let it out girl! We understand all too well how a vent can help you maintain sanity. I lost a baby handful of hair yesterday and it took everything I had not to scream out cuss words. All of the frustrations and pain are so worth our sweet angels. All it takes is her big blue eyes looking into mine and I forget all about the hair pulling and nipple chewing!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Ain't it the truth... those big blues eyes, coupled with that fabulous smile... what hair pulling? what blood letting from finger nails...what food all over the floor from having a spoon full of food smacked out out my hand... Thanks Fancy Pants. xx

Jessi said...

Bitch away, mama. I love my baby girl but honestly, being a mom is so f-ing hard. I come by motherhood very honestly to my friends and family. If they ask how I am or how my daughter is, I tell them the truth. Sometimes it's good news, "she's great! She slept for 4 hours, STRAIGHT! I love her to death!" Other times it's not so good news, "she's the DEVIL. She was up playing in her crib for 3 hours STRAIGHT at 2 a.m. I think I might give her up for adoption." Everyone knows that I adore my child but I wish that more people would have told me the shitty things that come along with being a parent. Not to discourage me from having children, more to prepare me for the reality of it all. I know that I have made my kidless friends a little nervous about having babies but they will thank me later for not blowing smoke up their asses. Tell it like it is, is my opinion. If people take you too seriously, that's their problem. I can pretty much guarantee that you're saying what most moms/dads are thinking but are too afraid to admit for fear that people will think they're bad parents. B.S. I say. Keep it real.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Jessi, thank you. Talk about keep it real... Your comment was 5 star in our face this is motherhood! It's comments like yours and the ones above that remind me why I have been writing these blogs for over a year... Because of you all saying damn right it's hard! I need that.

Kitten said...

April, tell the truth. Man, parents who don't understand are either the luckiest or the most drugged parents in the world. There are nights when my husband gets home, and I'm like, "Just going to have the biggest glass of wine in the world and lie here on the floor for a few hours." Then, when I do that, my daughter weeps at me not holding her, and my son climbs onto my stomach and starts to jump. I know how it feels to be exhausted, over it, angry, and brutally in love with your children all at the same time.

britmouth said...

Amen Sistah! Vent on! Please know your venting helps others too!! :D

Layes Landing said...

The bitching is funny to those of us who have won the life lottery and have healthy babies. Any of my own personal bitching is done with that ever-present soaring gratitude and joy to even have this incredible gift to bitch about. I can truly laugh at the misery with this new perspective. I am extremely careful about who might be within earshot in public because I know not everyone is so lucky. But for this audience its much appreciated!! We know what you really mean.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Brutally in love... Well put! So a human trampoline... That's something to look forward too. ;)

First Time Mom (April) said...

Thanks Brit! That's what's got me here... I used to unload on TOBP.com to the cheering crowd... Surely that crowd is still around! As usual thank you so much for your support!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Thanks B! That's what I tell myself. Thanks for affirming it!

Alissa said...

I LOVE your blog, cuss words, honesty and all! You are like the best friend that tells you how it is without the candy coating. I don't have many friends with kids that are like that so it's a breath of fresh air! Keep telling us how it is unfiltered and all. I read your blog every morning and look forward to what new adventures you, Ollie, and hubs have encountered. Please don't censor yourself! Keep this blog the way it was back in the beginning!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Thank you Alissa. God love you, you have been with me for almost a year now! Thank you 365 times over. The old me is baaaaack! hugs.

Fancy Pants said...

Keep it honest, we all know how good it is to vent it out. I also still want to punch papa bear in the face sometimes! A moment of honesty came out for me at Costco, Summer was screaming when we got in line to pay. In front of me was a mom with a 4 year old and infant, behind me a young girl, very done up, looked like she could be a Kardashian... I am frustrated, employee grabs cart with screaming baby and I look at him with the most serious look and say " I would like to return that baby, she is always crying!" Kardashians mouth is dropped and she looks at me with disgust, mom in front of me is laughing.... Yep, you can tell other mothers things like this, they get it!

KARA OF COURSE!!! said...

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR, I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER SUGAR COAT any OF THE ADVISE I GIVE OR WILL GIVE IN THE FUTURE. I DESPISE THE PEOPLE THAT ONLY TOLD ME THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT PARENTING/KIDS... THEY SET ME UP FOR FAILURE!!! LOL

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