8/6/12

6-Month Old Baby Observations (Dad's)

6 Month Observations
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Howdy parents! So, we actually survived six full months of raising a little human with minimal outside assistance - WOOOO HOOOO!  NO daily calls to doctors, NO baby-sitters, NO formula, NO sleep, NO injuries and YES...no life! BUT we proved to ourselves, at least, that it certainly CAN be done!

As I ponder that chilly February morning when Ollie was yanked outta mammas guts, I marvel at how such a sweet, tiny and innocent slug-like creature could GROW into such a cheeky, smiley and smarty-pant little bugger in such a short time!

So here you go... MY observations at six months! Enjoy!

  1. Fingers like the talons of a Vietnamese fighting bird.  One scratch and the blood flows freely! Of course, he's already discovered not to injure himself and so will rip, tear and gouge at Daddy's Bald head, ears, nose or tattoos at any opportunity.
  2. Balls - Yes BALLS...not that I've been measuring or anything but I do believe his clockweights are maturing at an alarming rate.  The ole knackers are banging around so much that it makes it difficult to put the diaper on sometimes.
  3. The recent revelation that his toes serve NO purpose other than sucking on...(I sometimes agree with him but can no longer reach mine due to my gut).  We'll often find him in some abnormal exorcist-style pose with a big toe buried deep into the gums and his pinkie up his nose.
  4. Magical Mystery Poop.  I just don't get it!  He feeds on the boob and has one full jar of super-healthy organic veggies each day but manages to surprise me every time I peel back that diaper.  Will it be a rock hard nugget, a black milkshake, mushy peas, the cats furball or a medium-rare new york strip steak?
  5. The genetic superiority of Australian babies to inherently enjoy Vegemite without gagging.  Daddy sneaks him the occasional Vegemite treat when mamma's not looking...He LOVES it
  6. Reverse-Crawling.  Although he's by no means a "crawler" yet, Ollie has mastered the ability of sliding backwards using his forehead and knees to navigate off his "safe" play-mat to the more exciting objects around the apartment - ie: the catfood tray, dirty sneakers or my PlayStation 3.
  7. JAWA-SPEAK - The boy has a tendency now to launch into long monologues of garbling, moaning and dribble-talk.  I achieve reasonable self amusement by sticking the iphone a safe distance away and opening the "voice-changer" app.  - put a paper grocery bag on his head and...HEY PRESTO...my own personal JAWA! 
  8. Sitting - Yep...this one he's mastered.  He'll sit straight and proud next to daddy on the couch watching the Olympics and cheering for Aussie SILVER while holding his nuts and dribbling. (Ollie too)
  9. High Density FARTER - Yep...at 6 months the kid has nearly reached the full adult range of bottom talk.  He snapped one off the other day SOOOOOO LOUD that I thought the neighbours were moving furniture next door. CRIKEYS!
  10. GORGEOUS KID - Overall he's a wonderful, happy, healthy and amazing little baby boy with a growing personality, an awesome smile and I'd be happy if he stayed like this forever! Congrats to all you parents too...at six months we've passed the hardest times. Apparently!!!!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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