How Many of Us Are...


I know I’ve said it a bunch of times already, but being a new mom is not easy! When I'm particularly stressed out or feeling sorry for myself, I try to remember that I'm not alone, other people have survived theses same “new mommy” moments. 

For example, last night while attempting to nurse a fussy baby--that would latch on for two minutes, then turn his head 180 degrees with my nipple still on his mouth, REPEATEDLY--instead of crying, I had a bout of psychotic laughter, then thought how many of us are going through this right now this very minute? At 6 million babies born in the States each year alone, and when you factor in the world… No way am I the only one at 3:30am having my nipple ripped off!

What can I say? It’s true, misery does love company. I throw a big fat pity party in my head, and think of all the people I can invite by imagining…


At this very moment, how many of us are…


  1. Trying to nurse a teething baby, who is hungry, but for some friggin reason is just not interested in eating.

  1. Changing a diaper blowout at 4am and geting peed on.

  1. Trying to pump just 5 ounces in less than 4 hours. (SO annoying)

  1. Still begging their 5-month old baby to please consistently sleep through the night.

  1. Lying in bed at 6:30 in the morning, praying to God that your baby will change his mind and go back to sleep.

  1. Secretly wishing for a weekend spa getaway, ALONE, to just sleep in silence.

  1. Still fighting the war on pregnancy weight loss at 6 months postpartum… in maternity clothes no less.

  1. Thinking that the promise of, “breastfeeding will help with weight loss,” is total bullshit!

  1. Still want to punch their husband. In the face. Very hard. (Damn hormones. ; p)

  1. Picking up baby toys for the hundredth time, only to get them right back out the next day.

  1. Suffering from chronic back pain, due leaning over the crib, lifting a fat wet baby out of the bathtub, bouncing, rocking, holding and carrying the buddle of fat joy.

  1. Starring at the bedroom ceiling at 1 o’clock in the morning, because they cannot fall asleep…  after spending the entire freaking day dreaming of sleep. It’s crap! I know the ceiling of my bedroom better than my own damn face! I need sleep training.

  1. Wish the Super Nanny would turn up at the front door, ready to train dad to be a super nanny, while you sleep like a baby the whole week.

I could seriously go on and on with this list.  I love being a mom I do… BUT…. I just need a freaking break sometimes.  My only problem is that I am too much of a control freak to let go and go out and enjoy myself.  I keep thinking that one day I will not care, call up one of my family members, scream MAYDAY, and go out for a few hours...








Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

7 comments:

Shay Grant said...

Bahahahaha! Yep count me in for heaps of those :-)
I'd like to add sitting covered in reflux vomit and trying not to move lest I disturb the teething baby who has just fallen asleep on my lap lol.
I hear that every mum does eventually reach the point where the inner control freak gets kicked out the door by inner desperate diva who demands Me time - I'm still waiting though...

First Time Mom (April) said...

Of course! How could I forget the covered in vomit one... Right after a shower.

Dammit where is that Diva!

Shay Grant said...

When you find her can you tell her to b*tch slap mine for taking so long?

First Time Mom (April) said...

LMAO!! Ditto.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

It *is* hard. This is my secret to getting through it with a big ol' smile on my face: Google and read about neglected or abandoned babies, or sick or dying or lost babies. I know, totally morbid, right? But doing it gives me perspective, and suddenly the thrice-nightly nursings and crying-for-no-reason fits don't seem so bad, and I can go another day with what seems like no sleep.

We are blessed, April. Even when it feels crappy to our selfish selves to have to give up our time or energy or sleep - we are *so* blessed. :)

First Time Mom (April) said...

Very True Mrs. L. Blessed beyond understanding. But Im still a selfish brat that needs her sleep, personal time, and life balance. I also don't know how you can actively seek out stories on abandon or sick babies, it breaks my heart to a point of feeling physical pain. I want to save them all!

When Ollie becomes trying, I just tell myself one day I will miss this. I try to cherish everything, because it all goes by too fast. He will be in university before I know it and then I will be yearning for nightly feedings and diaper blow outs!

Jessika said...

Yes, yes, yes, and yes!!! I read this after I wrote our blog today- and dude- if he freaking stretches my damn nipple out one more time.... or chews it??? Seriously! WTF. I yelp several times during almost every feeding now- he is like a little wolverine or something. And my back? I feel like I'm 80. Oh well- thanks for the laughs- as you said, always nice to be reminded you are not alone!

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