7/31/12

Baby Olympics (Dad Blog)

( MOM HERE: This morning while hubs and I are watching the Olympics, he turns to me and says, "I think I'll write the blog post today."  I should have known he was up to no good...

Ladies, please do not take him seriously.  This is however a glimpse into my everyday life and discussions with the father of my child...) 

BABY OLYMPICS
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Hiya sporty Baby Olympic fans!!!  

Well...It's THAT time again huh?  The bizarre few weeks every four years where all the awesome-est countries in the world compete for a bit of gold.  A time where we can sit back in our armchairs late in the night (or early morning) with a nice cold beer and a luke-warm plate of chicken nuggets and watch the action...Ahem ahem - I mean nurse the baby while the wife sleeps in.

Ahhhhhh...the good ole Olympic days.  The warm fuzzy emotions come flooding back when I remember where I was and what was going on in MY life when these exciting weeks came along. To be quite honest, I couldn't really give a toss who won or lost races and such but I certainly remember the highlights of each Olympics. 

The space suit/jet-pack dude flopping around the arena in LA, the Barcelona song that my college housemates and I would drunkenly scream out whenever anyone mentioned Olympics - BARSHHALONER!!!, the fact that EVERY Aussie news report from Sth Korea before their games had some kinda remark about eating dog.  Atlanta games had a bomb, Sydney was the "best games ever" HA!, Athens was crap and Beijing had thousands of drummers banging away...

LONDON though will always be remembered as the BABY Olympics.  Spew, poop, sleepless nights, headbutts to the jaw, grumpy momma, cheap beer and "Healthy" McDonalds - WOOOO HOOO!

In the 'Spirit of the Olympics' I've gone to great lengths to train the boy up to be an international superstar! At 6 months old, Ollie is becoming a world class Baby Olympic athlete!  Here's some of the events that he's SURE to win Gold!!!!

Greco-Roman wrestling
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Pop a large teddy-bear on the floor and put the bubs on top.  Crack the lid off the beer, sit back and watch the action unfold.  Grunting, crying, flips and butt-cracks...just like the real thing.

Diving
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Sit baby on the sofa, turn your head away for twenty seconds and behold...Gold medal dive from couch to floor.  Extra points for a somersault or twist.

50 Centimeter BREAST stroke
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Ollie's favorite event...I wait until he's REALLY hungry and then sneak into the bedroom where sleepy mummy is passed out.  I then place him gently on the bed exactly 50cm from the milky nipple and then RELEASE.  Wahhay - watch him GO!!! Watch mummies face when he rips into the boob!

MARATHON
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Ready those stopwatches! GO!!! Change the diaper early in the morning and see if you can last 24 hours before changing again.  For extra points, feed the baby some spinach and carrots the night before.

ENJOY the Olympics!!!!!!!!






Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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