Pregnancy Pooch a.k.a Bulging (postpartum) Belly


I received an email today from one of the big pregnancy sites with the headline, “Why you may still look pregnant.” YES! Finally! I just knew there was a good explanation as to why I am a big flabby postpartum cupcake-eating monster! You can bet your bottom dollar I clicked on the email as fast as I could. 

Well what a disappointing let down that was.  The only thing that email told me, that I didn’t know, was that the linea nigra sticks around for 12+ months, and may not even go away!  The rest of the article made blanket statements about how the weight will start to come off in the following weeks after birth, and that I will have a better shot at loosing the weight since I am nursing...blah blah blah.  After reading the whole damn article, looking for the one shred of,” It’s not your fault you make cupcakes and carbs your bitch on a daily basis,” those magic words were just not there. 

I have “pregnancy pooch” because I am four months postpartum, exhausted, slightly lazy, have a raging sweet tooth and for the life of me cannot find the time to exercise regularly. Oh and I only just started eating my meals hot-I know every new mom knows what I mean by “hot.” The small shred of solace I did find in the article was that it really does take “months” on average to loose the extra pounds packed on while growing a healthy (incredibly beautiful) baby. 

It has to take “months” to loose the weight. Most all new moms are EXHUSTED! Who the hell can find time to properly diet and exercise in the crazy haze of sleepless nights, constant feeding, regular diaper changes, burping, cleaning, and on a good day cramming a shower into all of that?

I have also learned, thanks to my sister, is “get over yourself!”  What I mean by this is that I had to admit to myself by no means did I have a washboard belly and banging tight ass before I got pregnant.  Somewhere along the way I forgot that I was not super model skinny and should stop crying about not being that way. 

I keep saying how learning to be a new mom, “is a process.” It’s so true in every way.  Loosing the pregnancy pooch is going to be a process as well, and the way I cannot stop sucking down sweet treats, it’s going to be a very long process. It took me 9 months to pack on the pounds, I expect it will take at least 9-12 to loose it.

Bottom line:  We have beautiful babies on our hips, who is looking at our ass anyway? Loosing the baby weight is a process, one that will take months, not days. Patience, a positive attitude and perseverance will win this race

If it doesn’t then good news… I hear chasing a toddler around will kick an ass right back into shape!


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

17 comments:

AussieMummy said...

I got the same email lol.. BabyCenter!

Kiwi Mum said...

Ha, I actually LOL'd at your admission about your pre-baby body! I got myself into the same rose-tinted haze, where I could have sworn I had a 6 pack and a figure to die for before getting preggers. While I've still got a lot of weight to lose (3 and a half months post partum)to get back to my pre baby size, it sure as heck won't involve a six pack (other than one of store bought cupcakes mwahaha)
Sadly, I have been told that the jiggle is here to stay. A friend of mine who is disgustingly slim and tall STILL has the wobbly/loose belly **sigh**

seashell said...

Haha...got the same email and had the exact same response as you!! I was never truly thin, but this c section pooch is driving me nuts...its impossible to fit jeans over a deflated innertube!

Kitten said...

My advice for having older children -- do not eat food from their plates. That way leads to an even bigger butt. Trust me.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Ugh... Thank God for Spanx!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Hi Seashell!! Sounds like you've done the same pants dance as me.. Wiggle wiggle tug tug stretch stretch jump jump. Then suck in and zip... Only to realize no way in hell can I leave the house in these muffin makers!

First Time Mom (April) said...

LOL! Maybe I should add this comment to the "mommy advice" post too. Too funny!

Tasha said...

I have found that since my daughter is very sensitive to dairy (even products with traces of the proteins) and to wheat it is hard to find anything bad for you without either of those things in them! It has helped to get me on the way to where I want to be. The few times I've fallen off the diet I end up with a screaming baby who is awake all night. Very good for keeping you on track.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Hi Tasha! My son is the same with dairy. You definitely bring up a good point. If I could have dairy I'd stil be best friends with the lady at dairy queen! But unfortunately I've traded blizzards for cupcakes. I need self control!

As a nursing mother do you find yourself craving sweets? Did you during pregnancy?

I had a huge issue!

foodpixie said...

Soooooooo, I read from Jenny McCarthy (she herself will tell you she is no means an expert) that her Dr. said it takes 3 menstrual cycles before your hormones even resemble normal and you probably won't lose much weight until after that. In the meantime the loss of the extra pregnancy hormones is what is making us all cranky, crying, cupcake eaters. The C-section pooch will never go away. Sorry. But rest assured the rest of us also have a big belly spare tire. JM also mentioned that eating off your toddler's plate will also pack on the pounds. So if you can, lose weight before your baby starts solid (real) food.

Tasha said...

During pregnancy I did crave sweets and I have always been one to bake. But my daughter was unfortunately born at 28 weeks so I missed most of the third trimester of pregnancy. About a month after we got home from the NICU I decided something must be going on for my daughter Rebecca to be so upset all the time. So I tried out an elimination diet, within a few days I had a different baby! So much happier and sleeping for more then an hour at a time.

During the first few weeks the cravings for pop and chocolate were bad. But I keep the food that is safe for me to eat on the top shelf in the fridge next to Rebecca's milk. It helps that it is easy to grab something out of there. Also when I can get someone to look after Rebecca for a little while I'll make up four or five full meals that I can just throw in the microwave plus a big container of mashed potatoes and acorn squash halves with rice in them.

I also try to keep a lot of sweet fruits/berries around. (Munching on blueberries and nectarine pieces as I type this.) And for those times that I just need to have something I have pieces of a 90% dark chocolate bar in the freezer, one piece is enough to make me feel better, but bitter enough that I usually don't want more.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I'm still a fatty-fat-fat but I'm accepting it, for now. Can't expect the pounds to magically disappear when I'm eating ice cream and cake and chocolate and bacon ;) But I do think I will lead a less-sedentary lifestyle as Baby L gets older (more walks to the park, playground play, etc). Hoping that will help me drop a few!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Oh crap! Bacon... I forgot about that. I have a problem with bacon too. It's a food group.

Jessika said...

Hahaha! Freaking love it

First Time Mom (April) said...

Wow!! Good for you. I really like the dark chocolate idea. I'm not a huge fan either, but if it will keep me from eating a whole bar of milk chocolate then I'm in! You really are proof a lot of it has to do with self control... Ok 95%! Thank you for sharing!!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Damn the C-section pooch!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Were you fooled too by the misleading promise of fatty fatty boom boom solace?

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