Mommy Fail #7 I got peed on…TWICE!



Preface

I got peed on…TWICE!

The Story

Last night I slept like crap.  I just laid there staring at the ceiling praying for sleep.  I was able to keep the anxiety of not sleeping at baybecause it was my morning to sleep in.    I just kept thinking: I will sleep sooner or later, even if I have to wait until 6:30am!

I fell asleep around 3am, and then of course Ollie woke up at 3:30 to eat. I was able to fall back to sleep easily enough after nursing him, but when he woke up ready to eat and start his day at 6:30am, I was not at all ready to feed him.  I nearly woke up dad to just give him a bottle so I could sleep. I decided screw it, it’s only going to take 20 -30 minutes tops to nurse him, and then I can go back to sleep for 3 solid hours! 

I stumble out of bed, one eye open, the other eye still closed so I could half pretend I was still asleep. I walked into his nursery to the sound of coos and smiles. When Ollie saw me he gave me the biggest heart warming smile, instantly my other eye popped open and I was glad I got up.

I picked up little man, still full of coos and smiles, and took him right to the change table. I started with the diaper change since it was clear he was not starving.  I took off his diaper, reached down for a new one and the next thing I knew a fountain of pee was shooting right at the ceiling. I grabbed the new diaper and shoved it right over the fountain. In my sleepy haze of ding dong-ness I put the diaper down on him backwards, so the outside slippery side was deflecting the pee. Of course it just made it spray in every direction! Spraying the wall, the change table, me, his legs and then to my horror sprayed his face! So Gross.

Needless to say, the damage was WAY passed wet wipes.  I peeled the change table cover off, wrapped Ollie in it and off to the bath we went.  I laid him down on the rug and threw his rubber ducky baby tub in the bathtub, and started filling the tub.  While leaning over the tub testing the water, I felt a warm stream hitting my butt and the back of my legs.  I turn around and there he is peeing and smiling! Not again?! I couldn’t help but laugh, not “funny ha ha” laughter, but “eff me that just happened” laughter. This made him smile even bigger and give me a little coo of excitement. If only he knew...

Out of the tub comes the ducky, and into the tub go mommy and Ollie. I was now officially passed wet wipe cleaning too. I got us both cleaned up, dried off and redressed.  30 minutes later I FINALLY sat down to nurse Ollie.

Lesson learned?  NOTHING!  I already knew better than to change Ollie without a diaper ready. Heck, at this point I can even see the tell tale sign of, "watch out he is going to blow!"  Unfortunately, one eyed and barely functioning off of 3 hours of sleep, it was an unavoidable amateur mistake.  At least I did get to go back to sleep... squeaky clean no less! ^_^


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer, blogger and proud debut novelist - The Devlyn Disguise. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more about April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

When my daughter was 2 months old, I decided that I was going to change her next to me on the couch instead of taking her all the way to her room. The diaper came off and I wiped her down. Then, as I was reaching for a new diaper, I heard the telltale grunt. The next thing I knew, baby poo was flying. Literally. Liquid poo had covered the changing cloth, decorated the couch, drenched my lap, and spattered all over the floor... five feet away. Holy $h*t. It all happened so quickly, I couldn't help but laugh. I knew I was going to want documentation of this mishap in the future, so out came the camera. I snapped a picture and then off to the bath we went.
As much as I hope nothing like this happens ever again, I'm still kinda happy it happened this once. It's odd, what memories become so special to you.

First Time Mom (April) said...

Laughing Out Loud! Thank you for somehow, in some crazy way, making me thankful that my son peed on me twice!

claire said...

I can't remember how old Sam was maybe about 7 months old. He woke in the morning and hubby got up to feed him his bottle, in our bed, me dozing next to them. Sam gulped down his botttle, and soon after threw up what seemed to be the whole bottle all over himself and daddy. Daddy didn't look very impressed but he started stripping Sam out of his sicky pj's and to change his nappy (again on the bed between his legs)just as he pulled the nappy down, an almight explosion came out Sam's bum over his legs and all over daddys tummy, lol! Hubby said nothing he just handed me Sam got out of bed and went for a shower, leaving me to deal with cleaning up Sam and stripping our bed, while giggling. LOL!

Jessika said...

Hehehe... If you've ever seen some of the pics that were done by our photographer friend- there's a pic of Dave laying on the floor, and Chase laying on his back- a moment after I put him there, as the pic was being taken, he peed all down his back- I couldn't stop laughing... then in another pic, he pooped all in his hand- hahaha... I've had my fair share, and totally relate to the "one eye open" ordeal- I physically cannot open the other half the time :) Thanks for the laughs

Katie said...

lol. we were taking William in the lake, and he was naked. Daddy is holding him outwards, facing me, and jokingly says, "william, pee on mommy". And he did! All over my shirt and skirt, as I had decided I didn't want to get wet!

He still pees on me on a fairly regular basis!

First Time Mom (April) said...

Bahahahaha!! I'm so sorry Katie but that is soooo funny!!

Fancy Pants said...

This happens with girls too but luckily they don't have a hose. But I have been covered in pee, poop, spit, snot, I mean NO ONE ever tells you these things when your prego, it's all roses! I have now taken 2 baths with Summer, she loves it. Just giggles the whole time or stares at her milk jugs and smiles. So funny!

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