6/21/12

Marital Bliss after baby… at first-NOT SO MUCH! In time- ABSOLUTELY!




My most read and commented on post from tiredofbeingpregnant.com is “I’m Pregnant and Hate my Husband.”  I wrote that post on August 3, 2011, NEARLY A YEAR AGO!  I have full on been a nasty mean beast to my husband for nearly a year now. I really do feel bad for my him.   Before getting pregnant I loved my man so much, we were newlyweds for cripes sake!  I get knocked up and go crazy hormonal lioness on his ass. 

Did he deserve it? When I was still pregnant I would have told you he absolutely deserved it. Simple, when I got pregnant, he got annoying!  When I say annoying I mean he got to eat what ever he wanted, wear normal pants, sleep on his belly and breathe in and out of his nose 24/7.  For someone who couldn’t do any of those things…that’s freaking annoying!

By week 36 I would rip his head of, and then apologize for my psychosis in the very next breath.  I kept promising that once I delivered sweet Oliver, I would be his sweet wife again.  HA!  That lie became the effing laugh of the decade, for me only of course. After delivering Oliver my marriage suffered twice as bad as when I was pregnant.

I yelled at my husband regularly, told him I hated him and even threw the divorce word out there a few times.  The first two months of parenting were complete hell on our relationship.  I blame the extreme pressure and stress of being new parents, the extreme lack of sleep and of course my still raging hormones. 

The only positive to this is that the last four months have been such a learning experience and time of growth for our marriage.  I look back and sigh and shake my head.  What a crazy rollercoaster ride my marriage has been on. The only solace I found was talking with other couples that promised the fighting was actually normal. Most all of them said they went through similar issues and growing pains.

Thankfully I can finally say 4 ½ months into my son’s life, his mommy and daddy have emerged from the haze and craze of being new parents very much in love. Somehow, what seems like over night, a beautiful peace and calm has emerged in my house.  My husband and I are kind, considerate, loving and affectionate. We have settled well into parenting and respecting each other’s methods and ideas for raising our son.  We are sharing the duties and sleeping much better. We are finally co parenting respectfully. Thank God! I think we have finally made it to the end of the constant bickering and angst! It is a blessing and beautiful thing.



A note from me to the person reading this completely relating and praying for the same outcome:  I know it’s hard and painful to constantly be fighting with the person you love. I understand how scary it is thinking about raising your child in a broken home.  You have two choices, fight or flight.  As much as I wanted to choose flight in my sleepless hormone induced rage, my son was worth every bit of the fight.  I stuck it out, my husband and I worked it out. Finally nearly 5 months into parenting, we have found the happy common ground and the passion in our marriage. You can get there too.  Becoming new parents is so scary at first, but once you both get the hang of it there is such a sense of accomplishment, and a new respect for each other will blossom.  Wait for that, and bask in the happiness and cohesiveness of your new family. 



Now, to end on a funny note...




Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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