2/23/12

Lessons Learned during Week 3 of parenthood


Mom's List

1. My son is 21 days old today! It really does feel like yesterday that I gave birth to him. I suppose it does go by really fast...

2. Time fly's when you live on a breastfeeding schedule. I feed him, burp him, FINALLY get him to sleep and think ok, what now? I have a solid hour or two, sleep of course! Rinse and repeat... I'm not complaining, it's just how it is right now. The days fly right by because I'm in a breastfeeding and napping haze.

3. The MINUTE my lunch or dinner is hot and ready he wakes up or needs to be fed. If you learn anything from me, try your best not to let this happen to you! It is inevitable, I don't know how, but it's like he knows when mommy wants to eat.

4. I've got this breastfeeding thing down now... of course I still have a few latching issues here and there but 21 days in, I can feed my son!

5. I read that when breastfeeding you should watch your baby and not the clock. That was hard until I read that breastfeeding is also a time for the mother to relax, rest and meditate. I really try to do just that now, and maybe that's why breastfeeding has gotten so much better. I shut my eyes relax my shoulders and try to focus on my breath and my body relaxing. It is very nice and has made a huge difference in my mood.

6. It's true if your newborn is crying it's probably one of three things, 1.Hungry 2. Tired 3. Wet. Here is another learn from me moment-- Just because I just fed him and changed him an hour ago it doesn't mean I should not check those things. My poor son cried for 10 minutes straight the other night because I was sure it wasn't because he was hungry, I was sure he was just tired, or worse was getting Colic. I called my sister and said "HELP ME!" She said, ALWAYS Check in this order- Wet-Hungry-Tired, EVERYTIME! Sure enough he was hungry. Oh it broke my heart that I let him cry for no reason.

7. We are starting to attempt to begin having a routine. Of course it's sleep and eat mainly, but we have playtime in between daytime feedings, i.e. tummy time, swing and bouncy chair with flashy fun toys. Then bath between 7-9 feeding and once I put him down at night there is NO, and I mean No (Dads this one is for you) NO STIMULATING THE BABY!! No eye contact, talking, nothing. It is hard to do, but I know if I, or daddy, does stimulate him, he will not go back to sleep after a feeding. Let me just tell you, That SUCKS!

8. An over tired or over stimulated baby is well, a bitch! It's very difficult to get them to calm down once they hit this point.

9. Thank you Gas Drops! My poor son has the worst time passing gas sometimes. It’s been awful. He will be in a deep sleep and cry out in a blood-curdling scream. The doctor said give him gas drops and it has made a HUGE difference.

10. Oh I love my son! I love holding him and smelling him and chewing on his feet and hands, slobbering on his face, giving him nose to nose kisses, squeezing him, and most of all holding him close and telling him how much I love him. It is amazing to have a human that I can love and hold and call my own…


DAD's List
1. Don't sign up for "free" baby crap unless you really need it or you'll get mystery SMS's from twats at all hours. “Sell your gold”, “buy a car”, “win a holiday” etc etc! They tell you to send "STOP" back to their number. Get some satisfaction by sending "STOP you FU*King Spamming USELESS TWATS

2. If you've followed the advice of lactation consultants and other experts by now you'll have a freezer with ice cubes of titty milk. Keep them away from the regular ice unless you like titty-milk scotch!


3. Don't get roped into doing family photo shoots by a professional photographer - the shame of the poor kid when he's 21 will be unbearable! Nobody wants to see a poster sized pic of your kid wearing a firemans hat while sitting in a watermelon! Lame!



4. Never too early to sell the crap baby gifts that you'll never need or clothes that don't fit anymore. Take this opportunity to flog off all the ridiculous outfits that the mother-in-law / whacky friend buys (the wife will never notice) Reclaim some beer money.



5. On your first trip to babies r us with the baby in tow...stand out from the crowd by looking angry and complain to the sales girl that you wanna trade your baby in for another one because the one you have is broken!



6. When the baby cries at 4am...simply pretend that you're fast asleep! After a few minutes the wife will go and sort it out anyway. Works everytime!



7. Take a shitty diaper out of the trash and leave it near the change table. The next time he needs a change just tell the wife that you did the last one and point it out to her. Sorted!




Ok… mom here again… Dad is in SO much trouble. Writing this blog together is proving very helpful. And he ALWAYS gets up at 4am… after I tell him I know he’s not fast asleep and the baby just needs to be soothed since I just fed him.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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